Love Or Die Hina
by GYRAX
Summary: Naru and Keitaro are enlisted in the British Library Division of Special Operations as field agents. Introdicing The Human Shield and Miss Fist. [Read or Die Crossover] COMPLETE!
1. I\'m on a DIET

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

This is basically a daughter fic to _Career Goers of Tomorrow_, which I also recommend reading. The one thing I highlighted in _Career Goers of Tomorrow_ is that Naru and Keitaro are meant to be together, despite some relationship issues. This conclusion is not out of opinion, but really out of research, logic, and observation; not all of you will agree with me on this. But think about it; Naru has the strength to dish out the superhuman pain and Keitaro has the durability needed take it. They practically make a foil pair, which means that they're so much the opposite of one another that they complement each other well and make for a great duo. If they stop running around for a minute, they might come to realize that they can use their inborn unnatural abilities for the better of the world and work as an excellent team. This was the theme brought up in _Career Goers of Tomorrow_, and it will be further explored in this fic. But enough of my ramblings; let's get to the fun part… the actual story.

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GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 1: _I'm on a DIET._

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The time is 7:28 AM Eastern Standard Time; the date is May 19, 2001; before what is supposed to be the infamous September 11th cataclysm, another disaster of massive proportions is about to befall our unsuspecting New Yorkers.

A lone man sits on the edge of the World Trade Center's North Tower. Because the sun shone on him, you could only see his silhouette. A female figure approached him; her features could be distinguished. She looked like a gentle teenager, with short blue hair and blue eyes to match. She seemed to be wearing a short blue kimono with Daisies imprinted on it. She had a katana strapped to her back. She stopped and stood behind the sitting male silhouette, and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, sir."

The male figure stood up and turned to her. With the sun behind him, you couldn't decipher his features, only the shine of his glasses. "Status report."

"Of course, sir." The young girl replied. "I'm pleased to inform you that the 'Lillith's Egg' prototype is at ninety-eight percent completion. We just need to re-check the power supply and inspect the wirings, as well as all of the main CPUs, the overall exterior structure, the sound wave manipulator, and the spherical collector unit. It should take at least thirty minutes."

"Excellent. Now get back to work." You could barely see the figure smile.

"Thank you, sir. Before I go, I would like to ask you why you're draining extra power from Yankee Stadium." The girl asked.

"Easy: I just don't like the Yankees; they won too many championships and I think their fans are assholes."

"A preconceived notion, sir." The girl replied. "Also, it's quite unlike a former German innovator to be so concerned about an American pastime."

"Just a minor quirk, but really, there's nothing wrong with me. Now get back to work."

"Yes, sir." With that, the girl retreated back inside the building.

The male figure held an item in his right hand. He looked at it and chuckled evilly; the item seemed to be a copy of Danielle Steel's _Lone Eagle_.

(O)

The next day, at 11:30 AM, this time at the Hinata House. You could hear voices coming out of the manager's room room.

"No. Not like that, like this." Said a male voice.

"Ahh, yes. Right there." Said a female voice.

"All right, now over here. You'll love this part."

"Oh, yes! Do it again!"

"All right. And do you have to use your tongue for this?"

"It just makes work easier for me."

"Okay."

You see Keitaro and Kanako leaning over a mess of books; one of them was open.

"Okay. Now over here, you simplify this." Keitaro was pointing towards the open book. "Now that was easy, wasn't it?"

"No." Kanako replied.

The landlord just sweatdropped. "Alright, now let's move on to the next problem. You'll find this one to be just like the last one."

"God, I hate math!"

"Easy, Kanako." Keitaro replied casually. "You know I was just like you when I studied for the exams. I despised Math from the bottom of my heart. Now look at me. By the way, what's with the music?"

You could now hear "Battlecry" by Nujabes featuring SHINGO2 (the Opening Theme for _Samurai Champloo_) blaring from the landlord's boombox.

"Music helps me study." Kanako responded. "Just following statistics."

Naru enters the room with two trays. "Hi guys, I brought some tea… Oh! Can I borrow this? Thank you very much!" Before she gave Keitaro a chance to respond, she took the _Samurai Champloo_ OST out of the boombox and ran out of the room, leaving the trays on the floor.

An awkward pause fills the room. Keitaro just said, "I didn't know she liked _Samurai Champloo_."

"Don't mind her." Kanako said. "She's in La-La Land. Now, you were helping he with some ass-difficult Math problem."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." Keitaro went back to helping his little sister study.

(O)

Kitsune couldn't help but watch what was on TV; her face was practically glued to it. Motoko saw her lounging about and approached her. "Why don't you just do something? Urashima's helping his sister study, Shinobu's doing laundry, Naru's listening to hip-hop (ugh!), Su and Sarah are doing God-knows-what, and I'm practicing."

"Well, I'm watching the news." Kitsune responded. "Normally, I wouldn't because it's so goddamn depressing, but this… this caught my attention."

Motoko went to see what Kitsune was talking about. "What is it?"

"Apparently, it was eight in the morning yesterday at New York when the entire population of that city just mysteriously collapsed. The cause is unknown; that's why they said they MYSTERIOUSLY collapsed."

"Sounds a bit farfetched." Motoko replied.

"That's what I thought until this came up. Look at all those people on the ground, and I have a hangover."

(O)

The British Library was truly something to behold. Books were anywhere and everywhere; some bookshelves covered the walls, which seemingly were hundreds of feet high. The place was bustling with people, some carrying files and others pushing full carts of books. All the books were priceless bundles of information and achievements of literature from yesteryear. Gathering these artifacts of knowledge was what the British Library Division of Special Operations, or DIET, specialized in. No matter what the cost, if it was a part of history, they were there to collect it.

The young and preppy, blonde and blue-eyed, Wendy Earheart was walking across headquarters, a perfect blend of futuristic and Victorian age technology all around her. She was carrying a bundle of files and, with two stumbles and a face fault, was heading towards The Joker's office.

(O)

The Joker hears a knock on his office door. "Come in." Said the blonde, green-eyed second-in-command of DIET.

The door opens and Wendy enters the office. "Mr. Joker. I have all the information concerning the incident in New York City, and I think you might find this interesting." She approaches Joker's desk, only to stumble. She almost falls, but holds her ground and walks towards his desk. She puts a bundle of files on the desk.

Joker looks at the papers in front of him. "Thank you, Wendy."

"You're welcome." She responded excitedly. "As for the incident. One of our satellites took several photos of what may be a large floating base hovering over Manhattan. Common sense would assume this base has connections with the incident. Mapping the inside of the base further proves it. It consists of four smaller structures surrounding a larger center structure, which has a strange black orb on top. The smaller structures have a built in speaker system which emits sound waves. These waves put the target population into a state of pleasure, similar to acid or a Mamoru Oshii film. Once in this state, they have their thoughts, or rather their souls, taken out of them and collected by the black orb on top of the larger structure. The satellite recorded the sound waves from the base's speaker system and converted to text format for safety measures; we wouldn't want to repeat that incident with the Suicide Symphony."

Joker looks over the files. "This text file seems to be an excerpt from Danielle Steel's _Lone Eagle_."

"It must have been recited via a PA system. Whoever was responsible for this is a crafty bastard for selecting the world's most popular best-selling author. As for the base, it seems to be going on the straight path. Should it not change its course, its destination would be Hinata, a small city near Tokyo, Japan."

"All the more convenient for us." Joker replied. "Hinata is where Agent Paper took a position as substitute teacher. One of her students gave her a _kikou _book as a gift and asked her to come over to Hinata House, where she claimed she had a few more."

"That student's name is Shinobu Maehara, right?" Wendy asked.

"Precisely. I asked her to go over there to double-check and see if she has any more _kikou_ books and retrieve them if there is any. We don't want to endanger an innocent girl in this potential uprising of I-jin activity, though I have no idea how she managed to get one book, let alone several."

"The Hinata House is also the home of two world-famous residents. Along with information on the New York cataclysm, I also provided the most recent medical reports of Keitaro Urashima and Naru Narusegawa. I thought you would be interested."

"Ok. How recent are we talking about here?" Joker asked.

"Yesterday. They were just released on a news site on the web. It seems Urashima-san had a broken arm; he recovered in three hours, the fastest recovery ever recorded in human history, but that's only the beginning of the young man's abilities."

"Go on." Joker said, looking over the papers in front of him.

"According to the report, Keitaro Urashima has a special kind of skin made of an ultra-durable flesh like material that could be several times stronger than the titanium alloy used to build aircrafts. He can even withstand a shot from a 7.62 mm. NATO round from a Parker-Hale M-85 sniper rifle from about seven hundred meters away."

"Please continue." Joker said, looking over the papers in front of him.

"Of course, Mr. Joker." Wendy replied. "As for Naru Narusegawa (Her name is quite a mouthful.), she has an extra part of her brain, which we have called _hyperberserkus_, connected to her amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for aggressive behavior. When she becomes angry, the hyperberserkus amplifies electrical signals from her brain and sends them through the cerebellum and to her muscles, increasing their output by at least one hundred and fifty fold. Unfortunately, leftover signals are sent back to the brain, clouding her judgment. One might think she had too many shots of Jaegermeister."

"When her alleged berserker mode clashes with Urashima-san's extreme durability," Joker added. "They change the face of Japanese comedy forever. The antics of these two individuals, as well as several other residents at the former inn turned all-girls dormitory, result in the underground cultural phenomenon known as _Love Hina_. Not only was it big in Japan, but it also became a hit in the United States, spawning numerous cheaply written anti-Naru fan fictions." Joker puts down the papers and looks at Wendy. "Perhaps it would be killing two birds with one stone if Agent Paper would both go to Hinata House and investigate, and ask Urashima-san and Narusegawa-san to consider a position as agents of the British Library Section A Special Operations Taskforce." He stands up. "Of course, we'll need Mr. Gentleman's permission."

Wendy nods. "Yes, sir. We could use some assistance, especially after what happened with Miss Deep."

(O)

The next day, back at the Hinata House, Keitaro walks quietly across the lobby, looking around like he was Sam Fischer. "I think I might have actually given Naru the slip."

"Is that what you think?" A voice came from behind him.

"Damn, this is getting old!" He knew the voice was Naru's, and he knew he was in some major (bleep). Once again, he had seen more cherries and melons than he were allowed to. Hell, he was never allowed to see any.

But before Naru's fist connected to his left cheek, the front door opened. Both of them looked to see who it was, with Naru's fist being micro-millimeters from Keitaro's face.

A tall figure showed up; she had black hair, thick glasses, and a big coat and was carrying a travois with a briefcase on it. These features were quite distinguishing. She looked at the twosome with a little surprise on her face. "Umm… did I interrupt something?"

"No, not at all." Keitaro replied. He takes a look at the fist that was supposed to pound his face. "Actually, you could've never come at a better time."

"Hello, there. I'm Shinobu's substitute teacher, Yomiko Readman."

"Hi, I'm the manager of the Hinata House, Keitaro Urashima." Keitaro faces her and bows. He motions his left hand to Naru, who is now just facing the same direction. "And this is Naru Narusegawa."

"Of course you are." Yomiko replied. "I know all about you; Naru 'Nuclear Holocaust' Narusegawa and Keitaro 'Human Ballistic Missile' Urashima."

"Those are some grisly nicknames." Keitaro replied.

"The local populous made them up." Yomiko explained. "Anyway, Shinobu was really anxious for me to come over here and see some of her books. She said she found some really interesting ones that she wanted to give me."

A minute later, the three were sitting around the small coffee table in the lobby. Yomiko went through her briefcase and pulled out an ancient book of some kind. She showed it to Naru and Keitaro. "Your child gave me this as a gift. Isn't it nice?" She let out a smile that went across her face.

The landlord went up to Naru. "OUR child?" He whispered to her ear.

"She thinks we're her guardians." She whispered back. She turned to Yomiko, who was still holding the ancient tome up with a big smile. "Readman-san. I don't think…"

"She really had the time of her life." Yomiko interrupted. "And she's doing so well in class." She produces a piece of paper and puts it on the little table. "This is an English test we had on Friday."

The two look over at the paper. "Wow. A 98!" Keitaro exclaimed.

"And she ranked the highest in class, too." Yomiko added. "Could you ask her to come down here and tell her I'm here?"

"Sure thing. Hold on a minute." Keitaro responded. He walked up the stairs.

He goes up to the second floor and makes his way to Shinobu's room. He opens her door and sees her talking on a cell phone. The young girl says goodbye and hangs up. The landlord was confused for a moment, and then he approached her. "I didn't know you had a cell phone, Shinobu." There's a brief pause, but it was broken when Keitaro's face made an expression of pure shock. "WHAT THE HELL!"

**CRASH! **Naru and Yomiko heard a loud noise and went upstairs to investigate.

When they got to Shinobu's room, they were unable to speak. Eventually, the rest of the Hinata crew went to see what was going on. What they saw was a wee-bit out of character.

Shinobu was holding Keitaro hostage; she had an unusually long fingernail at the landlord's neck. "Alright. Nobody do anything stupid. My fingernails are poisonous. Make a move and I'll inject the venom straight into his throat!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Shinobu!" Naru asked, dumbfounded at what she saw before her.

"I don't think that's Shinobu at all." Yomiko said.

"If that isn't Shinobu, then who is it?" Motoko asked.

"A super powered clone." She answered without missing a beat.

"She's a WHAT!" replied Naru.

"How many people do you know can extend their fingernails like that? Just let me handle this." With that statement, Yomiko walked towards the renegade clone of a gentle High School student. She puts her hands on her hips and said loudly, "HA! I dare you!"

"WHAT!" Was what came out of everyone's mouths.

"Go ahead! I dare you!" She repeated.

"WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS!" Keitaro cried out, flabbergasted over what Yomiko said.

The clone takes this to mind and presses her nine-inch nail against Keitaro's neck, attempting to penetrate his skin and reach a blood vessel, only to have it broken off. The broken nail falls on the floor, poisonous liquid oozing out of it.

Yomiko still stands there, smiling. "Nice try, but you'd be better off trying to inject that poison into a Boeing 747." She turns to the residents, who were shocked and confused over what just happened. "Your friend's skin is composed of a flesh-like titanium. It can even withstand gunfire."

The renegade clone looks at the remaining nail that was still on her finger. Her eyes were now white circles, expressing pure unadulterated astonishment. She suddenly burst into rage. "I BROKE A NAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!"

"Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Use your atomic punch, now, while she's stunned!"

"What!" Naru replied.

"Don't ask why! Just do it! She's not Shinobu!"

Naru hesitated for a moment, and then she ran up to the clone, readying her fist. Then…

**POW!** The attack sent the clone through the roof and into the exosphere, where she was never to be seen again.

Everyone looked at the hole on the roof and stood still, thinking about all that happened in that short moment.

Keitaro stood up and slowly regained his composure. He turned to Yomiko. "What the hell is going on here!"

"As I see it, a clone of Shinobu Maehara was planning to assassinate me. You might have caught on to her, so she wanted to take you out as well. In my line of work, such clones are known as I-jin." She walks over to a few ancient books hidden behind Shinobu's futon. "These are _kikou_ books. I was asked to retrieve these and bring them back to the British Library."

"The British Library?" Naru repeated.

"Okay." Keitaro said. "If that was a clone, where's the real Shinobu?"

"Probably with the I-jin." Yomiko answered. "I'm supposed to ask you if you would like to join the British Library Section A Special Operations Taskforce as its field agents. It's and unorthodox move on the British Library's part."

"A library needs field agents?" Naru asked.

"You and Urashima-san have some truly astonishing powers. My boss, Mr. Joker believed that you have some truly amazing potential. If you joined the British Library, you could put those abilities to good use with some proper training. If you don't want to, we'll leave you carry on with your normal…"

"Of course we're going!" Keitaro interrupted.

"We are?" Naru asked.

"SHINOBU'S BEEN KIDNAPPED FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! WE NEED TO SAVE HER, **NOW**!"

"Poor Keitaro." Su said. "I think he's lost it."

"I don't think he ever had it." Sarah added.

Joker overheard this through Domino's earpiece and smiled in satisfaction.

(O)

"So these I-jin are the ones responsible for what happened two days ago?" Motoko asked.

Everyone was sitting in the dining room table. Sarah was poking Su.

"That's what we came up with, and the fact that we may have encountered with one today might further prove that statement. I-jin are usually clones of important historical figures, such as Jean Henri Fabre, Otto Lilienthal, and Kenshin Himura. Though the case with Shinobu is completely left field. I have nothing to say about it."

Keitaro and Naru are now in brown vests, black pants (or skirt for Naru), white shirts, and black ties. They're putting on earphones.

"Alright." Naru said. "They're on."

Suddenly, Joker's voice came from their earphones. "Congratulations. You two are now agents of DIET, the British Library Division of Special Operations."

"You know, I always wanted a career in international espionage. I get to hide in places, beat up people, and actually get a date. I can live the life of 007."

"Your codename is _The Human Shield_." The Joker replied.

An awkward pause filled the room. Then everyone burst into laughter.

Joker wasn't exactly pleased with the reaction. "I don't know what so funny. I thought that name was quite appropriate for a man with your abilities."

"I'm not the one laughing, though." Keitaro responded.

"Anyway," Joker continued. "Narusegawa-san's codename is _Miss Fist_."

When they heard Joker's statement, they instantly stopped laughing, leaving only dead silence.

"God, that's lame." Kanako replied.

"Worse than 'The Human Shield'?" Keitaro said.

"You got me, there."

"Your training shall begin shortly." Joker said. "Good day, agents."

"Um… yeah." Was the manager's response. He then turned to Naru and whispered to her ear. "Hey, Naru. We're on a DIET."

"You're so corny, Keitaro." They both chuckled, whether Naru wanted to or not.

They apparently didn't turn off their earpieces because Joker overheard this, with crossed arms and a look of irritation on his face.

End Chapter 1

Now review and tell me what you think.

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Next Episode of _Love-Or-Die Hina_

Chapter 2: _Hmmm… Sounds Like Shinobi

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Author's Notes:

Daisies symbolize innocence, youth, and gentleness, pretty much Shinobu's personality in a nutshell.

I admit that the name and design for the "Lillith's Egg", the center structure of the new I-jin base, were strict _End of Evangelion_ references. In the movie, a massive entity taking form of the character Rei Ayanami holds a large black sphere, or black moon, if you may. As all the people on Earth began to die, their bodies became liquid and their souls were drawn into this black moon, known as "Lillith's Egg".

You have to admit, the Opening Theme for _Samurai Champloo_ is pretty kick-ass.

GYRAX


	2. Hmmm… Sounds Like Shinobi

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

Normally, at this time, Keitaro would accidentally confess to his little sister, Kanako, in the magic annex near the Hinata Inn (that was a mistake on my part.), a spell would bind the two together, and Naru would eventually snap and run away on an alleged "emotional journey". At that time, Naru would finally admit her love for Keitaro and break the annex's spell, and the two would be a couple. That could wait, because Yomiko Readman is in the house, and a plethora of bad news followed her. Apparently, Shinobu's been kidnapped, and a clone of her tried to take out Keitaro, but his tough skin saved him and Naru took her out with her famous punch. Now Naru and Keitaro are agents of the British Library Division of Special Operations, or DIET, and just in time, too. It seems the I-jin are on the rise again, and they're heading towards Hinata, for some obscure reason.

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GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 2: _Hmmm… Sounds Like Shinobi.

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_In the evening air, you see a lone person falling from the sky and heading quickly towards the ground. This person isn't Keitaro, oh sweet Christmas, no. Rather, it's the renegade clone of Shinobu from earlier. The young girl ponders to herself, _GOD-(bleep)-DAMMIT!_ Before she passes the clouds, she remembers what happened a few minutes ago.

_The renegade clone looks at the remaining nail that was still on her finger. Her eyes were now white circles, expressing pure unadulterated astonishment. She suddenly burst into rage. "I BROKE A NAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!"_

_"Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Use your atomic punch, now, while she's stunned!"_

_**POW!** The attack sent the clone through the roof and into the exosphere, where she was never to be seen again._

As she quickly approaches the ground, she hears something behind her; she slowly turns around to see what looked like a brown glider. She sees the bird-like wings and quickly grabs on to the left one, using her extended fingernails as claws to hang on. She turns to see someone at the cockpit and instantly recognizes him. "Otto… Lilienthal…" The glider pulls up and swoops above the ground, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with the ground below. After it gained altitude, it retracts its wings, with the clone still hanging on, and speeds into the horizon.

(O)

A lone man sits in a room filled with the green glow of large tubes aligned nicely to his left. Another, younger and female figure approached him.

"You snapped." Said the male figure.

"I'm sorry, but he knew what we were up to." A gentle voice came out of the young girl before him. The voice sounded like Shinobu's.

"You were paranoid, Shinobi." The man responded in a cool tone. "You know what they say about paranoid people. They say you'll get smacked in the head by a psycho kid with a bent over baseball bat."

"Sorry." Shinobi responded in a quiet and shameful voice. Shinobi is apparently the name of Shinobu's clone.

"No problem." The figure said. "We still have tomorrow."

(O)

The next day, in front of the Hinata Inn…

"They're coming here?" Keitaro asked.

"Yes." Said Yomiko in response. "They made their first stop in Detroit. Then, they stopped in St. Louis, then Las Vegas, then San Diego, and finally Honolulu. Also, they blew up North Platt, Nebraska. Right now, they're in the middle of the Pacific Ocean."

"So they're coming to us, that'll save us a lot the trouble of having to go to them." Keitaro replied.

"Perhaps." Yomiko said. "But the question I like to ask is why Hinata? Why here?"

"That, we can't answer." Naru responded.

"Anyway, he should be here shortly." Yomiko walked a few feet, towards the stairs.

"Who?" Keitaro asked. Sure enough, his answer came; it was in the form of a blonde blue-eyed man with a muscular build, sporting a hat and what looks like standard military clothing. He climbed up the stairs carrying a large backpack and an array of weaponry and explosives.

Yomiko motioned her right hand to him. "Narusegawa-san? Urashima-san? This is Mr. Drake."

"Drake Anderson." He shook hands with Keitaro and then Naru.

"He'll be training you on basic combat." Yomiko added. "By training, you can hone in on your skills and realize the full extent on your abilities."

" I learned a few things about martial arts during my trip to America (Seta said I had a knack for it)." Keitaro chimed in.

"Is that so?" Yomiko asked. "That just makes things easier for us."

Keitaro and Drake stand within three feet from one another.

"You ready?" Said Drake.

Ready when you are." Keitaro answered.

After a brief moment of silence, Drake starts off with a right hook, but Keitaro blocks it and follows it up with a back hook. Drake dodges it, however, and rolls; he was now standing behind the landlord. Then, he throws two jabs at him, missing him twice, but follows it up with an attempted hammer punch, only to have it blocked by his left forearm. Keitaro quickly does a snap kick, but Drake grabs his right leg. With one mighty yank, he pulls Keitaro towards him and performs a strong right uppercut, his fist hitting the landlord's face dead on.

He jumps back a few feet and looks at his right fist. An awkward pause fills the air as Keitaro recovers from that last hit.

"YEEEOUCH!" Drake cried out as he looks at his hand, which was throbbing in pain. He takes a look at the manager. "What the hell are you made of, kid?"

"At first," Keitaro answered. "I thought it was flesh and bone, but ever since yesterday, I began to question myself."

"His skin is really tough." Yomiko added. "It can even withstand gunfire."

"Really?" Drake responded with a bit of surprise on his face. He looks at Naru, who's standing next to Yomiko. "What about her?"

"She's got the classic superhuman strength. She doesn't look like it, but she packs quite a punch."

In the corner of her eye, Naru sees someone climb the steps. She turns around and sees a young girl who seems to be in her teens. She had short blue hair with blue eyes to match. She wore a short green and yellow dress with a green hood and the word "Cabot" written on it, yellow socks, and green shoes.

She instantly recognized her. "Shinobu!"

"Is it really?" Yomiko turns around to see.

Shinobu looked up at Naru with her eyes shining. "Naru-sempai!" She ran up and wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"What happened?" Naru asked, looking down on her.

Keitaro approached the two and saw Shinobu in Naru's arms. "Shinobu?"

The young girl quickly ran to the landlord and wrapped her arms around him. "Sempai!"

"Shinobu? Are you okay?" Keitaro said as he looked down on her.

"Y-yes." The young girl said, looking up at him. "Sempai, it was horrible. It was just a normal day at school until someone put me to sleep and took me away. The next thing I knew, I was in a dark room with a machine putting a needle in my arm and taking my blood. I saw someone who looked just like me emerge from a tube full of green liquid. Then someone put me in what looked like an escape capsule and I landed on a beach."

"I-jin." Yomiko said to herself.

"I didn't know where I was." Shinobu continued with watery eyes. "And it took all morning to find you." She began to break down to tears. "It was horrible, Sempai."

When Keitaro felt wetness from his shirt from her tears, he began to hold her more tightly. "It's all right, Shinobu. You're safe, now."

(O)

"I envy you guys." Kitsune said. She, Keitaro and Kanako were sitting on the dining room table. Motoko stood by the door, irritated for some reason. Kanako also had the same expression. Su and Sarah were playing _Metroid Prime Hunters_ head-to-head.

"You get to hide in places, beat up people, and actually get a date. You can live the life of 007!" Kitsune continued.

"I lost hope the moment I put this uniform on." Keitaro replied, sighing.

Shinobu was napping on a couch in the lobby. Naru didn't say anything, but she had to admit, Shinobu was still adorable in her sleep, so limp and vulnerable.

Drake enters the Inn and sees her sleeping. He looked at her more closely and smiled. "She kinda reminds me of my daughter."

Naru turns to him. "You have a daughter?"

"Yeah. I like to buy her something nice after every mission." He walks past Naru. "Anyway, we should get back to training." He goes to the dining room, Naru following him shortly.

Motoko was waiting at the dining room door, and when Naru walked past her, she grabbed her shirt.

Naru turns to her. "What is it?"

"Something doesn't feel right." The samurai replied. "I'm beginning to feel bad vibes. I don't know where they're coming from, though."

Su notices Drake and looks at the many weapons he's carrying. After a short pause, she jumps back. "That's not an arsenal."

"?" Was all Drake said.

"Now THIS is an arsenal!" Su and Sarah brought over three kinds of assault rifles, two ray guns, two rocket launchers, four grenade launchers, three sniper rifles, two packs of hand grenades, and a mecha. Sarah was smiling.

"You got to be kidding me."

"Don't be so tense, Motoko." Naru responded. "Cool down. Relax. It might just be anxiety. Besides, Keitaro and I still have training to do." She looks at the manager, who was sitting at the dining room table. "Mr. Drake says we're not finished, yet."

"Oh. Ok." The two walk out of the dining room.

Kanako walks in and approaches the kendoist. An awkward silence fills the room. "You didn't say much."

(O)

Back in front of the Inn, Drake and Naru stood within three feet of each other. Shinobu walks outside to see what was going on, rubbing her eyes; she just woke up.

"Wh-what's going on?" She mumbled.

"They're just training. Narusegawa-san and Urashima-san need to hone in their skills to become good field agents. Oh, I forgot to tell you; they're agents of the British Library, now." Yomiko replied.

"Really?" Shinobu asked, looking up at her.

After a brief moment of silence, Naru started things off by jumping back a few feet. "Behold the POWAH of my resourcefulness!" She grabs Keitaro and rolls him into a ball, and then she throws him at Drake, who jumps out of the way and barely avoids it. The landlord crashes through one tree and slams into another.

Naru assesses the damage and looks at Keitaro, stuck on the tree he crashed into, and swirly-eyed. "Oops. Sorry."

Yomiko could barely believe what happened. "Well… That's new."

Drake was speechless.

Shinobu just watched with a look of slight irritation on her face.

Back at the Inn's lobby, Motoko walks towards the front door, but stops before she opens it. A long pause ensues. She spoke to herself. "There's those bad vibes again."

"I'm already on it." Kanako quickly opened the door and rushed out.

Shinobu looked behind her and what she saw she couldn't believe.

Kanako rushed towards her and attempted a punch her, but she saw it coming and jumped twenty feet high, easily avoiding the attack. She performed a triple full twist into a backflip, landing behind Naru. She held her with her right arm and extended the fingernails on her left hand, holding them at Naru's throat.

Everyone else at the Hinata Inn went outside to see what the ruckus was. Once she saw Naru held hostage by the high school student, Kitsune was the first to say something about it. "Has Shinobu gone insane!"

"Nobody move, or I swear I'll do it! Her skin isn't as tough as Sempai's!"

Haruka went to Kitsune. "Do you mind telling me what's going on, here?"

"All I know is that there's evil clones, Shinobu's gone crazy, and Naru and Keitaro are secret agents."

"Good enough for me." She said.

Yomiko walks to the renegade teenager. "How did you survive, anyway?"

Everyone looks at her in confusion.

The girl responded. "One name: Otto Lilienthal."

"Otto Lilienthal?" Keitaro asked.

Yomiko thought. _They must've found a way to re-clone him._

"Wait. She can't be the evil clone Shinobu from yesterday, can she?" Kitsune asked her.

"Unfortunately, she is. The British Library also did some research on Shinobu Maehara's genealogy and came across something interesting." A moment of silence ensues as everyone looks at Yomiko. "Apparently, Shinobu is a direct descendant of a world-famous kunoichi who fought as a mercenary and died during the Bombardment of Kagoshima in the Edo Period, known as Shinobi Bakunetsu-Maruchan."

"Bakalaka-what?" said Kitsune.

"Shinobi was widely known in the underworld for her skillful use of psychological warfare. She was a true master of being sweet and adorable. She also had a pet flying turtle, who may have been Tama-chan's ancestor." Yomiko looked at Shinobi, the renegade Shinobu clone who was holding Naru hostage. "You put up quite a show, conjuring up real emotions and forcing tears out of your eyes. You even had me fooled. You surely lived up to your historical counterpart."

"Why, thank you… AAACK!" Shinobi fell on the floor. She saw that there was something restraining her. She quickly pulled out a knife to cut herself free, then threw it at Yomiko.

She saw the knife coming and pulled out many sheets of paper to form a paper barrier, stopping the knife dead on its tracks.

The Hinata crew was surprised, and why wouldn't they? Paper was tough enough to stop a speeding knife?

Yomiko looked at the renegade clone, and then at everyone else. "My codename isn't _The Paper_ for nothing, you know." She said with confidence.

"The Paper?" Keitaro asked.

"I have the power to manipulate paper; I could fold it into anything I want and even make it hard enough to stop a bullet, and make origami."

Shinobi quickly regained her composure and closed her eyes, performing a quick chant. "Paguwa-sanpa… Paguwa-sanpa… Paguwa-sanpa… PAGUWA-SANPA!" And just like that, she formed two duplicates, both wearing short blue kimonos with daisies printed on them. The duplicates formed duplicates of themselves. Then those duplicates formed duplicates of themselves. Then those duplicates formed more duplicates of themselves, and so on, and so on, and so forth, until there were doppelgangers everywhere.

"AAAAACK! TOO MANY OF THEEEEM!" Poor Naru almost couldn't take it.

Su suddenly burst out of nowhere in a bright yellow mecha, with Sarah on top of it. "Which one's the real Shinomu?"

"None of them are." Motoko said. "Let's just take care of them all!"

Hence, the massive scale fight scene began. The army of Shinobis quickly attacked only to find out that making so many duplicates of themselves wasn't such a good idea; needless to say, they were all getting creamed.

"FIRE FULL ARSENAL!" Su was launching missiles all over the place, blowing so many doppelgangers up to smithereens. Drake just could not stop himself. "This kid's crazy."

"You'll get used to her." Sarah added.

Drake quickly saw a few more Shinobis heading his way. He blew them up with one well-placed lob grenade. "Say hello to Queen Dopplepopolis for me!"

Su just looked at him funny. "Umm… nice Sealab 2021 reference."

Drake's face was red. "Sorry about that. My horoscope said that goofing off would be the order of the day."

Naru was wielding Keitaro like a samurai sword, smacking a few more Shinobis with the grace of a fly swatter. Agent Paper had a sword of her own, made entirely of paper; she was holding her own as well.

"ROCK SPLITTING SWORD!" Motoko made a torrent of wind that sent a few doppelgangers to the Exosphere. Kanako was also single-handedly holding off the duplicates, like Krauser with his knife.

Haruka and Kitsune decided now was a good time to stay the hell out of their way.

Suddenly, the entire Shinobi army vanished into thin air, leaving only the original, which was right behind Drake.

"What the hell!" Drake turned back quickly, only to be at the receiving end of a roundhouse kick. Shinobi quickly ran towards Su with lightning speed.

"EVIL SHINOMI! I'VE GOT YOU, NOW!" Su fired five rockets. The Shinobi, however, kicked two rockets out of her way and threw her knives at three, destroying them before they could hit her. She landed on Su's mecha, throwing Sarah off a bit, and jumping off. She performed a double twist into a front flip, landing on the ground and heading towards Motoko with that same lightning speed.

"ROCK SPLITTING… BWAAAAAACK!" Motoko didn't have a chance to finish before Shinobi pushed her and Kanako to the ground and sped off towards Naru.

Yomiko intercepted her, poised to attack, but the clone nimbly and effortlessly dodged all of her swings and countered with a snap kick to her face. _Too… fast…_ was all The Paper could think of before she tumbled to the ground, swirly-eyed. Shinobi then ran towards Naru.

"Naru!" Keitaro ran towards Naru, but Shinobi got to her, first. She suddenly stopped in front of her and crouched. She looked up to her and suddenly jumped and did a back flip, striking Naru's chin in a well executed flip kick.

_Okay, now THAT hurt!_ Naru thought.

Shinobi then drove her elbow to Naru's stomach, and then followed it up with a volley of blazing fast punches and finished her off with one hell of a flying kick to her abdomen, sending her on a collision course with a nearby tree.

Everyone, including Haruka and Kitsune, were watching with surprise and astonishment, as the clone quickly ran up to Naru with her right fist ready for another punch.

"**I WIN!**" She executed one more mighty punch, and her fist successfully connected. A long silence fills the air, as everyone was rendered speechless. Shinobi saw that her fist did hit the target.

Or so it seems. Who she punched wasn't Naru, but rather, that oh-so-loveable invulnerable perverted guy, Keitaro Urashima.

Naru looked ahead and spoke in a weak voice. "K-Keitaro?"

Shinobi jumped back, her right hand throbbing violently in pain because of the landlord's super skin. "OW! OW! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Naru knew what she had to do next; she had summoned enough strength to run up to Shinobi, with her own fist poised to attack. "WE WANT THE REAL SHINOBU BACK, **NOW**!" With a mighty right hook, she sent Shinobi straight to the Ionosphere, where she was never to be seen again.

"Are you ok, Naru?" Kitsune ran up to her. Haruka was calmly walking towards Keitaro.

"Hell no." Naru said, falling face first into the ground.

Yomiko recovered and stood up. "Though her field of specialty was psychological warfare, her physical prowess was truly something to behold." She looked up into the sky, where the I-jin supposedly is, now.

"Yomiko?" Keitaro said, carrying Naru on his right shoulder. "Will all the I-jin be THAT difficult?"

"Yes and no." Drake answered. "Some will be and some won't, but a few will be even more difficult."

Keitaro sighed. "Man."

They all felt a cool breeze, but Drake looked upwards. "Something's coming."

As the breeze picked up speed, everyone else looked up with him. Suddenly, a large blue mecha, half the height of the Inn, landed right next to them.

They didn't like what they saw.

"Oh great!" Keitaro asked, shocked but also annoyed. "We're going to have to fight that thing, now!"

Just after he said that, the robot took off and flew into the sky. Everyone watched with surprise over the fact that it just left, but also glad they didn't have to deal with it, at least for now.

"Thank God!" Naru said in relief. "We're already exhausted from that evil Shinobu clone fiasco."

"Speaking of, I think it's just me." Haruka added. "But it seemed like that evil Shinobu clone was going exclusively after Naru."

"You really think so?" Keitaro responded, knowing better than to call her "Aunt".

"Come to think of it, I noticed that too." Kitsune replied. "You think she may have something against her?"

"Why?" Keitaro asked in curiosity. "It's not like she and Naru knew each other."

"May I interject?" Yomiko interrupted. "The British Library also looked up Narusegawa-san's genealogy. What they came across was quite disturbing. Let's go back to the Inn; I'll explain everything from there." Yomiko entered the Hinata Inn, with everyone else following her.

End Chapter 2

Now review and tell me what you think.

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Next Episode of _Love-Or-Die Hina_

Chapter 3: _Motoko's Love, in Manuscript Form

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Author's Notes:

Be sure to expect more scenarios where Naru will depend on Keitaro and vice versa. Like I said before, this fic will further explore the teamwork theme initially brought up in _Career Goers of Tomorrow_.

There's actually a reason for making the I-jin clone of Shinobu Maehara a kunoichi (female ninja). Although Shinobu's name means, "to remember", the word "shinobu" is also a verb that means, "to perform actions with utmost secrecy", and can be related to the word "shinobi", an ancient term preceding the modern word "ninja". Being a big fan of Shinobu myself, I always thought that she herself could make for an excellent ninja. I believe that she has what it takes; she's tiny and lightweight, she can crawl through small spaces, she's cute, etc. But that's just me.

The Bombardment of Kagoshima was a real historical event that took place in August 1863 during the Edo Period of Japanese history (1600 to 1867). Also referred to as the Anglo-Satsuma War, in retribution after the Namamugi incident of 1862, The British Royal Navy bombarded the town of Kagoshima in the Satsuma province in the Kanagawa prefecture, claiming five lives among the people of Satsuma, and thirteen lives among the British.

The Namamugi incident, also referred to as the Kanagawa Incident, or the Richardson Affair, was a samurai attack on foreign nationals on September 14, 1862. Relationships between the UK and Japan weren't exactly stagnant in the Edo period, but I'm sure not everyone approved of relations between two different lands, so incidents like this were common throughout history.

The case of Shinobi Bakunetsu-Maruchan, however, was completely made up.

Most of this information is based on research on Wikipedia (which is a site you just HAVE to go to, by the way), and interpreted by myself. If I'm wrong in any way, feel free to correct me, because there may be a good chance that I put this all down wrong.

Yes, people. I went as far as to bring up a Sealab 2021 reference.

See you next chapter.

GYRAX


	3. Motoko’s Love, in Manuscript form

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

I'm planning a sequel to this fic, which takes place one year after the end of the manga, and during the events of the R.O.D. TV series, called _Love Or Dream Hina_.

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GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 3: _Motoko's Love, in Manuscript form._

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"The British Library also looked up Narusegawa-san's genealogy. What they came across was quite disturbing. Let's go back to the Inn; I'll explain everything from there." Yomiko entered the Hinata Inn, with everyone else following her.

After Yomiko entered the lobby, the Joker's voice came up in her earpiece. "Agent Paper? Are you all right?"

"Yeah; we were attacked by the same I-jin, but we made it out ok. Her motives are inconclusive; she may have wanted the _kikou_ books back. That, and she seemed to have some sort of resentment towards Narusegawa-san. She does bear a striking resemblance to her ancestor, so I wouldn't blame her."

"I just wanted to tell you that the I-jin base has come to a complete stop, its location about three hundred kilometers east of here."

"It stopped?" The Paper asked. Everyone looked at her in curiosity.

"Perhaps you could take this extra time to rest up and prepare yourself. You'll have to get into the base soon." Joker replied over her earpiece.

"Right." Yomiko replied. Then, she turned to Keitaro, who was still carrying Naru on his shoulder. "Guys, the I-jin headquarters just stopped about three hundred kilometers from here. Perhaps we can take this time to take a good break, especially after what just happened."

(O)

Everyone was gathered in the dining room, with Naru and Keitaro sitting next to each other at the dining room table. Yomiko sat across from them with a load of files on the table.

"I already told you that Shinobi Bakunetsu-Maruchan was Shinobu's ancestor, right?" She takes something out of the stack of files. "Here's a picture of her." Keitaro and Naru examine it; the picture was in black and white, and of a teen-age girl with dark, short hair, and gentle eyes, sporting a dark kimono with daisies imprinted on it, and a katana strapped to her back.

"Wow." Keitaro said. "They kind of look alike."

"Kind of?" Naru just looked at him.

(O)

Someone was climbing up the steps to the Hinata Inn. He was a man who looked to be in his late twenties, with short black hair pushed up in the front. He wore professor-style glasses over his blue eyes. He also seemed to be more than six feet tall, wearing a gray three-piece suit. As he reached the top, he saw the Hinata Inn ahead. He looks back at the stairs behind him. "Damn, I hate those stairs already."

(O)

"As for you, Narusegawa-san," Yomiko added. "You seem to be of British descent, oddly enough. Your ancestor went by the name of Molly MacMollyport; she was a British naval officer who also died during the Bombardment of Kagoshima." She takes something else out of the stack of files. "I've got a picture right here." She hands it over to them.

Naru couldn't believe what she saw. "MY GOD, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME! (Why Molly, though?)"

"Molly was close to foreign national Charles Lennox Richardson, and heavily supported him, and Shinobi was already against the British presence in Japan, but during the Namamugi incident, Molly punched Shinobi's mentor, a much talked about "perverted" Ninjutsu instructor known as "Sempai", in the face, sending him straight to the upper atmosphere, where she was never to see him again (Molly later claimed that it was because he had peeked under her dress). The incident made Shinobi infuriated, and when she and Molly met again almost a year later in the Anglo-Satsuma War… well, you know what happens next."

Naru and Keitaro looked at one another in pure disbelief. Suddenly, they hear a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Motoko said as she went to the lobby, towards the door. She sees a male figure looking back at her; she didn't recognize him at all. She opened the door. "Yes?"

"Is Motoko Aoyama-san here?" The man asked in reply.

"This is she." The kendoist answered.

The man examines her closely; then, he pushes up his professor glasses. "Pardon my rudeness, but I have a hard time believing that YOU are the future best-selling novelist that I'm looking for."

Motoko's face turns cherry red. "N…n…n…novelist!"

"Yep!" He said with enthusiasm. "I heard an excerpt from your manuscript over the phone. I couldn't believe what I was hearing; the words you put together to conjure up real emotion. It almost brought me to tears."

"Hold on, mister." Motoko said, almost leaving the lobby.

"It's Yoshi Kutaragi." He replied.

"Yeah, thanks." Motoko hurried out of the lobby.

Yoshi stood there and spoke to himself. "I wonder what her deal is."

(O)

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE!" Motoko stormed in the dining room with an angry demonic glare in her eyes.

"Who?" Naru asked.

"WHO DO YOU THINK! KITSUNE, DAMMIT! WHERE IS SHE!" Veins were popping up all over her head.

"I have no idea." Keitaro answered. "Last time I checked, she was right here until she heard a knock on the door, then she left."

"Figures." Motoko said in disgust. She left the room with a huff. She tried so hard to forgive Kitsune for what happened almost a week ago…

_Kitsune was creeping oh-so-quietly to Motoko's room, with Su and a reluctant Shinobu following._

"_Umm…Kitsune?" Shinobu said out of nervousness. "Don't you think this is a bad idea?"_

_The sly fox turns to her. "Did I ever steer you wrong?"_

"_Yes." The young girl replied. _

"_Never mind." Kitsune interrupted. "Besides, Su and I are bored as hell, and you just finished your homework. What is there to do around here? Nothing. Let's just have a little fun." With that, she crept silently up to Motoko's door. In a split second, she violently opened the door. "**I AM THE FIBER QUEEN!**"_

"_WAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!" Motoko almost fainted she was so scared. In front of her lied a stack of papers._

_Su went to the stack and picked it up to observe it. "Ooh, what's this?"_

"_Let me see." Kitsune walked over to her and took the stack of papers. After a minute of looking over it, she suddenly burst into tears. "Man, that's compelling! Motoko, I didn't know you had it in you!"_

"_ACK! My manuscript!" Motoko ran over to Kitsune, only to end up chasing her all over the room. "Give it back, dammit!"_

"_I don't wanna! I like it! You know you could make a book out of this."_

Motoko was fuming as she went up the stairs, going on a Kitsune hunt. She eventually caught her sneaking across the hall near Shinobu's room and, with lightning speed, ran up to her and grabbed her shirt.

Kitsune put on an "oh (bleep)!" look on her face. "Umm…Hi, Motoko."

"Don't 'hi' me!" Motoko growled. "You know very damn well that manuscript was TOP SECRET!"

"Don't worry." Kitsune replied. "I didn't tell anyone."

"Then why is there a man here that knows about it, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Kitsune answered. "Who is this guy?"

"Not buying it."

"Oh, come on! I didn't call anyone! I swear!" Kitsune was flailing her arms wildly.

"Not buying it."

"Alright! I'll just come up front and tell you…" A long pause fills the halls. "I didn't do it."

"KITSUNE!"

"Excuse me?" said a male voice. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No! Of course not!" Kitsune replied. "You could've never come at a better time!"

Motoko lets her go. "You got lucky."

(O)

The Hinata crew sits at the dining room table with Yoshi as he discusses Motoko's manuscript.

"My name is Yoshi Kutaragi. I'm with the Dai Senryaku Publishing Company." Yoshi said.

Keitaro whispers to Naru next to him. "That name doesn't sound right."

Yoshi continued. "Our company doesn't just publish novels, but we also publish magazines, manga, pamphlets, and we also plan military coups."

"What are you here for?" Naru asked.

"Simple. Your friend over here shows plenty of potential." He motions his hand to Motoko. "A friend of her called and recited the manuscript through the phone. It was really heartwarming."

Motoko gave Kitsune a glare.

Yoshi continued. "I believe her friend's name was… Shinobu, was it?"

Motoko's glare turns to a look of surprise as she looks at Yoshi. "Shinobu?"

"When I heard her recite it, she was completely in tears." He turns to Motoko. "You just may have what it takes to be the next Danielle Steel, a goddess of romance novels."

Everyone looks at her with smiles in their faces.

Naru speaks. "Really, that's awesome, Motoko."

Everyone else begins to clamor around her. Poor Motoko begins to grow nervous every second of it. Eventually, all the chatter has caused her to finally snap out of social anxiety and she ran out of the dining room. "WAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Everyone looks at each other in bewilderment.

Naru spoke. "I think we put too much pressure on her."

"Well," Kitsune added. "She told me that manuscript was top secret.

"Top secret?" Everyone asked.

"You think it could've been her diary?" Naru asked.

"I don't think so." Kitsune answered. "At least it didn't sound like one."

"Kutaragi-san?" Yomiko asked.

"Please. Call me Yoshi." He replied.

"Shouldn't you just ask for her consent before you do anything with it?" Yomiko added.

(O)

Later, we see Motoko lying on a couch in the lobby in a fetal position.

Yoshi looks at her in confusion, and then approaches her. "Ok… I'm just going to bring this to Dai Senryaku Headquarters, ok? Don't worry, they'll love it." He exits the Inn.

Just then, Naru and the others enter and notice her.

"So, Motoko?" Naru asked. "Did you give him your approval?" A long pause fills the lobby. "Motoko?"

The samurai still lies there.

"She must've really been bent on keeping that manuscript a secret." Keitaro said. "Because she's acting quite out of character."

"Pathetic." Kanako said to herself.

"Ummm…" Naru added, tapping Keitaro's shoulder. "Keitaro? Yomiko? Isn't that the blue robot from yesterday?" She points outside.

(O)

Naru, Keitaro, and Yomiko went outside and barely saw the blue mecha land at the bottom of the staircase. They quickly descended down and saw it land beside Yoshi. They could barely believe their eyes.

Yoshi quickly turns to them. "OH (BLEEP)!"

Yomiko sees a female figure sitting on the mech's left shoulder, donning a short kimono. "Shinobi!"

"You mean she's still alive!" Keitaro replied.

"Whoever's running the show is really looking out for his comrades." Yomiko spoke.

"Hey!" Yoshi interjected. "What if the leader was a woman!"

"He has a point." Naru said. Then she turns to Yoshi. "Okay, now who the hell are you?"

Yoshi cracks a smile. "Allow me to show you my true self! (Damn! I couldn't hide my identity for five minutes.)" He takes off his professor glasses and puts on a different, bigger and thicker pair of coke-bottle glasses. "THIS is my true form!"

"That's it?" Naru asked.

"Well…Yeah." Yoshi's head hung low. Then, he looks up again. "Anyway, allow me to introduce myself, and I hope you have pen and paper with you."

"I have plenty of paper." Yomiko chimed in.

"I know that." Yoshi said. "You're The Paper for God's sake. Anyway, my name is Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg! Try to remember it."

The Paper turns to her earpiece. "Mr. Joker. Did you hear that?"

"That's an affirmative." The Joker responded over their earpieces. "Johann Gutenberg, circa 1398 to 1468, pioneered the printing press by inventing moveable type, the improvement over block printing already present in Europe during the time. The invention allowed for rapid printing of materials, which led to an information explosion in Renaissance Europe. His most famous work was the Gutenberg Bible, which opened doors to the mass production of books in the West."

"This guy has quite a pedigree." Keitaro replied.

Suddenly, we see Kanako run quickly to the scene. "Onii-chan? What the hell is going on?"

The threesome turns around. "Kanako!" Keitaro exclaimed.

"I believe I'll take this manuscript with me, now." Johann said. Everyone turns back to him. "One thing was true, Motoko WILL make a better author than Danielle Steel could ever HOPE to be." He throws a copy of _Lone Eagle_ to the floor. "I have to go, now. Sorry I couldn't stay here longer than I wanted to." Naru and Keitaro now have their guard up, Kanako was ready to attack and Yomiko was preparing to use her paper magic, but the I-jin had other plans. "Shinobi!"

"I know!" The girl responded. She throws a slip of paper on the ground below them.

"GET BACK, NOW!" Yomiko cried out as she pulled the other three back before a huge Old Faithful-sized gush of water came from the ground had a chance to engulf them. They see the water plume skyward from what looks like a five-foot radius of the slip of paper.

"What the hell was that!" Kanako exclaimed.

"A talisman, I assume." Yomiko answered. "The Japanese character for 'Water'. She intended on rendering my paper magic useless. Only a few of my sheets of paper are waterproof."

"Why do they want that manuscript, anyway?" Keitaro asked.

"In New York, the I-jin recited an excerpt from Danielle Steel's _Lone Eagle_, sending the entire population to a state of pleasure. Then they absorbed all of their souls into a black orb on top of the center structure of their fortress. If I'm right, they'll recite Motoko's manuscript for the same purpose, in hopes of achieving better results."

"Motoko won't like that at all." Kanako replied.

Keitaro turns to her. "Kanako. I suggest that you go back to the house, now. This is going to be extremely dangerous."

As much as she wanted to be with him, she knew she had her nose into British Library Business, and knew better than to complicate things for herself, so she went back up the staircase.

At the same time, Drake went down the stairs to find out what just happened.

"Mr. Drake." Yomiko said. "Good thing you're here. We're following the I-jin."

"We're what?" He asked.

"We're following them. I have an idea."

Drake made a face of irritation. "Oh boy." He knew exactly what she was thinking.

Paper flew out of her coat and briefcase and flew around her. Yomiko was moving her arms around like a mad maestro at an opera as the paper began to bind together. Naru and Keitaro watched in total astonishment, as the mess of papers became a giant paper airplane before them.

Yomiko turns to Keitaro and Naru. "Well, get in." They do, fitting snugly in the center crease, with Yomiko getting in with them.

Drake knows what to do and lifts the paper plane above them. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Yomiko responded.

"Alright, then!" Drake took a running start to attain takeoff speed and threw the plane with all his might. As the plane began to sail, he ran to it and grabbed its left wing, climbing in and sitting with the others. The paper glider then gained altitude and headed to the east, where the fortress supposedly awaits.

"Well, this is a nice change of pace." Keitaro said. "I hope this is safe."

"Don't worry." Drake replied. "She won't drop us THIS time."

"Wh-what!" Keitaro didn't like the sound of that.

Naru loved the view of the town and beach from the paper plane. "The view here is wonderful." Her eyes were shimmering in delight.

Yomiko had her hands on both wings, doing a good job of stabilizing it. The crew could hear the sound of a jet engine; it was getting louder and louder, sounding like it was approaching them.

Drake turned to see what was behind them and saw a brown glider quickly gain on them, then quickly decelerates as it approached them, retracting its wings. "Guys, I think we have company."

They turn to see the glider now hovering above them. Otto Lilienthal was looking at them with a wicked smile on his face. "If you ever hope of reaching master Johann, you'll have to get past me first!"

Naru and Keitaro looked at one another. "MASTER Johann?"

"So Gutenberg's the leader, then." Yomiko pondered out loud.

Otto continued. "I am the German Glider King, the Great Otto Lilienthal!"

"Otto Lilienthal?" Keitaro said, recalling the time Shinobi mentioned that name.

The glider above them then did the unthinkable; it used its bird-like wings to latch on to the paper plane, and then it took a nosedive.

"WAAAAUUGH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Keitaro screamed as the two gliders went on a collision course towards the ground.

"NOW DIVE TO YOUR DEATH! MUA HA HA!" Otto's glider let go of the paper plane and pulled up, leaving the paper plane spiraling towards the ground below.

End Chapter 3

Now review and tell me what you think.

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Next Episode of _Love-Or-Die Hina_

Chapter 4: _The Eye of the Storm! You Mean to Tell Me It's Hurricane Season, Already!_

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Author's Notes:

"Naru couldn't believe what she saw. 'MY GOD, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME! (Why Molly, though?)'"

Why Molly? That's simple. If you ever saw _Sailor Moon_, then you're familiar with the character Molly, right? In the Japanese version, her name is Naru.

See you next chapter.

GYRAX


	4. The Eye of the Storm!

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

This chapter will be virtually all action, as it leads to the big climax. So, if you want some spectacular battle sequences, you'll get them from here on in.

* * *

Otto Lilienthal's Glider, currently above them, did the unthinkable; it used its bird-like wings to latch on to the paper plane, and then it took a nosedive. 

"WAAAAUUGH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Keitaro screamed as the two gliders went on a collision course towards the ground.

"NOW DIVE TO YOUR DEATH! MUA HA HA!" Otto's glider let go of the paper plane and pulled up, leaving the paper plane spiraling towards the ground below.

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GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 4: _The Eye of the Storm! You Mean to Tell Me It's Hurricane Season, Already!_

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"The Fortress is moving!" Exclaimed an officer of the US Navy. "And it's heading right towards us!" United States President Cole was in a battleship, The USS Edison, with its crew.

Indeed, the I-jin fortress was heading right towards them, and at alarming speed. The President went into panic. "OPEN FIRE!"

With that, the entire fleet of destroyers, dreadnoughts, cruisers and battleships aimed their cannons straight at the fortress and fired away. Rockets were flying at the fortress in overwhelming numbers, but the fortress fires back what looked like a beam of light at one of the battleships, destroying it with ease.

At the British Library's War Room, the Joker only watched with irritation. "Dammit, he's acting out of impulse."

After the barrage from the American fleet, the I-jin fortress moved forward without a scratch, with what looked like a hexagonal force field shielding it.

"IT'S GOT SOME KIND OF IMPENETRABLE FORCE FIELD!" Cried out Mongoose, another officer of another US Navy ship, the USS Graham Bell. Just then, the fortress fired another beam at the ship, blowing it to pieces. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!"

"Oh God!" Exclaimed Cobra, another US Naval officer form the USS Edison. "MONGOOOOOOOOSE!"

"Mr. President!" Joker said in the British Library's War Room. "Tell them to hold their fire and let them pass! Our field agents will take care of it!"

President Cole heard the message loud and clear through an earpiece. He turns to his Naval Forces. "HOLD YOUR FIRE! HOLD YOUR FIRE! LET THEM PASS!"

The battleships stop opening fire, letting the fortress pass. As President Cole watched the immense flying base pass over the USS Edison, he delved deeper into panic and eventually peed his pants.

(O)

The paper glider spiraled towards the ground at alarming speeds. Yomiko used all of her strength to stop the plane from spinning. Then, she pointed the glider's nose upwards to break its fall; it pulls upwards, narrowly avoiding a collision to the ground below. After the plane recovers, it slowly gains altitude.

The Paper looks back at the others. "You guys all right?"

They all sigh in relief as they just avoided sudden death. "That was TOO close." Keitaro said.

Otto sees the paper plane gain altitude and close in from behind. "They're still alive?" His glider decelerates to where he's now directly over the paper plane. He then dropped an array of bombs at them.

Naru reacted quickly by grabbing Keitaro by his ankles and wielding him like a baseball bat. She swings him around, smacking Otto's bombs away from the paper plane; the bombs explode at a safe distance away from them. Otto had a hard time believing what he saw.

The brown glider turned away from the paper plane, now flying to their right. Drake took out an M16 Carbine and opened fire. Otto's glider barrel rolled to avoid the hail of bullets, only two rounds made their mark. The glider then flew directly over them, now flying at their left. Otto pulled out a Colt M1911 Handgun and fired at them, only hitting the left wing of the paper plane three times. While Yomiko used a few extra sheets of paper to cover up the holes, Drake fired form the grenade launcher attached to his assault rifle, then fired from the rifle itself. Otto's glider did a barrel roll to avoid the lob grenade and put on the brakes to avoid another hail of gunfire, now flying behind them.

Drake looked behind him, and then turned to the others. "He's right behind us!"

Otto's glider fired its machine guns, but Drake's warning gave the paper plane a chance to turn to the right and avoid the machine gun fire. Naru and Keitaro were hanging on for their lives as the paper glider made its intense bank turn.

After the plane finishes its turn, Yomiko looks back at the other three behind her. "This isn't getting us anywhere. I think I have an idea." She turns to Drake. "Mr. Drake? Do you have any C4s?"

Otto's glider and Yomiko's paper plane fly side by side, with the paper plane slowly closing the gap between them. Keitaro has a paper rope tied to his waist. Yomiko turns to Naru, with the rope in her hands. "Go ahead and grab it. You won't get any paper cuts." The Paper smiles as Naru cautiously grabs the paper rope.

"Since when did I agree to do this?" Keitaro put a blank look on his face.

"Since now." Naru replied. "Just cooperate, ok?" She swings Keitaro around like a lasso and throws him towards Otto's glider.

Keitaro hits the gliders left wing and latches onto it. "I got it! I got it!" Suddenly, the glider flaps its bird-like wings violently, trying to shake him off. "Whoa! Nelly!" He was hanging on for his dear life.

"We got a feisty little bugger down here!" Naru shouted, impersonating Steve Irwin. With one mighty jerk, she yanked Otto's glider, pulling it towards her fist. Her atomic punch left a huge dent on the glider's hull.

"What?" Otto said, looking at Naru in utter shock.

Drake took this opportunity to put a C4 explosive onto on of the glider's afterburners. "We're all clear!"

After Keitaro jumped back onto the paper plane, Naru kicked Otto Lilienthal's glider, sending it a good distance away from them. Seconds later, Drake pushed a button on a remote and the C4 explosive detonated, obliterating the glider and reducing it to a ball of fire, smoke, and ashes. The smoke finally clears, leaving no trace of Otto Lilienthal anywhere.

"We got him." Naru sighed. Then she looked at the city around them. "Oh, God, we're in Tokyo!"

"Great." Keitaro replied. "Now, we're even farther from the fortress."

"Attention, agents!" The Joker's voice came from all of their earpieces. "Are you all right?"

"We're fine." Yomiko answered.

"Glad to hear it." Joker replied. "I mean to inform you that the I-jin are on the move again. This time, the fortress is going twice as fast as before. It seems they're more intent on reaching Hinata than before."

"We're going over there, now!" Naru replied.

"That's a negative, Miss Fist." Joker said. "The US Navy just attempted an assault on the fortress, and we recently discovered that it's protected by an immense energy shield. This force field is supposedly made up of an immense amount of _chi_, an energy that martial artists believe they can tap into through training and meditation. So far, there isn't a martial artist on Earth who could release this much _chi_, and whether or not they manage to harness this power artificially is still a mystery."

"If I'm right," Keitaro interjected. "Than we just need _chi_ to cancel out _chi_."

"I suppose so." Joker said. "But that's still an immense amount of power we're speaking of."

"We could go back to the inn to get Motoko and Kanako to try and punch a hole in this force field so we can get through." Naru said.

"Wait." Keitaro pondered. "I have another idea. During my training with Seta, I learned a few things about how to harness _chi_. I'm not saying I can do it, myself, but if I CAN, I could punch a hole in that field myself, and that could save us the time of having to get back to Hinata for Motoko or Kanako's assistance."

"I hope you're right." Naru replied. "We'll try it. I still believe we'll need Motoko for this."

"I hope you know what you're doing." Joker added. "Even with added assistance, it doesn't look like you'd be able to penetrate that energy field. We'll look for another way to break through it.

(O)

At the fortress control room…

"Sir, I've detected a cluster of life forms approaching us at approximately five hundred and fifty kilometers an hour." Maria Skłodowska-Curie reported to Johann. Madame Curie looked to be in her early twenties, with her brown hair in a bun, thin glasses over her brown eyes, and dressed in early twentieth century attire. Her features are slightly reminiscent of Mutsumi.

"Wow! They're stupid." Johann responded. "Zhang Sanfeng."

A bald man in his early thirties, dressed in Chinese attire, approaches Johann. "Yes?"

"Have it ready, now." Johann said.

"Already?" Zhang asked. A pause fills the room. "Right."

Johann smirked. "Zhang Sanfeng was a semi-mythical Chinese Taoist who is believed by a few to have actually achieved immortality. A master of several styles of Chinese martial arts, he was credited for originating soft martial arts, especially T'ai Chi Ch'uan. It's thanks to his understanding of _chi_, the 'Lillith's Egg' can use the souls already contained to draw in a massive amount of _chi_ from the surrounding area and harness it, and then release it in the form of a large hexagonal _chi_ shield, which I have appropriately dubbed the 'AT Field'."

(O)

Keitaro is standing on the front nose of the paper airplane, deep in a Zen trance. A surge of power ran down Keitaro's spine, startling him for a second. "I feel it. Mr. Joker wasn't kidding with the immense _chi_ thing. That's a lot of energy." As the paper plane approaches, Keitaro readied his fists; then, the plane finally collides, with Keitaro's throwing a mighty punch at the _chi_ shield. All that was happening, though, was that the paper plane was being pushed back. You could hear Keitaro grunt loudly as he struggled to drive his right fist through the AT Field, using all he learned from his training with Seta during their excavation in America. After a minute of trying, he eventually gives way, and the force filed electrifies him and throws him backwards. He now lays on the paper plane, nice and crispy.

(O)

Johann watched in gloat, as Keitaro wasn't able to break through. "Aww, how cute. He thinks he can penetrate an AT Field."

"That is amusing, sir." Madame Curie added.

(O)

The three looked at Keitaro as he lies limp.

"Are you ok?" Naru said.

Quickly, Keitaro recovered and stood back on the paper planes nose, which was touching the AT Field. "Yeah, I was just too tense. I screwed up a little, but I almost made it." He cleared his mind of all thoughts, focused on what's ahead of him, and drove his fist into it again. This time, his right fist successfully went through the AT Field, and he used both of his hands to rip it open, as if it wasn't there.

The joker witnessed this through a camcorder mounted on Drakes hat. "Well, I'll be."

The plane seamlessly passed through the hole in the AT Field and headed towards one of the four smaller structures.

(O)

Johann just laughed. "Ha ha! Wow! I've really underestimated these guys."

"Perhaps." Madame Curie added. "We should lay all of our cards on the table now, or else we'll suffer the same fate as Ikkyu before us. Using all of our talents against them at once should make victory far more probable for us."

"Brilliant deduction, Marie!" Johann said. "Send someone to Quadrant II."

"Jacques de Vaucanson is already there, sir." Madame Curie replied.

(O)

The foursome stands in front of one of the fortresses four smaller structures, but even it was at least two hundred meters tall. Suddenly, they hear a jet engine sound and turn to their left; it was the blue mecha from before, only this time, they could distinguish its features.

Jacques de Vaucanson appeared as a blue mecha, which looks like a fusion between Gundam and eighteenth century. It used thrusters on his feet and back to hover in mid-air; it had a spear in his right hand, and it had a shield and Gatling gun attached to his left arm. He pointed his machine gun at them. "Greetings." And just like that, he opened fire, shooting about six thousand rounds a minute.

They quickly made a run for it, heading for an entrance they found on the structure. Drake pulled out a grenade and threw it at Jacques. The grenade exploded nicely, sending him to the ocean below. They supposedly saw the last of him.

(O)

"That was it?" Johann said in disappointment. "He didn't even try to defend himself! I can't believe it; we're losing our comrades one by one. SEND SHINOBI TO QUADRANT II, NOW!"

"You have no idea how happy that will make her." Madame Curie responded.

(O)

"One of our satellites have mapped the inside of the I-jin base," Joker said over their earpieces. "And found the control room to be near the top of the center structure. Take out the controls there, but under NO circumstances use any explosives. The I-jin fortress is using nuclear power to propel itself and any wrong move could set off a nuclear chain reaction that'll cause a great deal of environmental catastrophe."

"So in short," Keitaro responded. "Bad things will happen?"

"Not a professional way to put it, but yes, bad things will happen."

"I'll make sure to restrain myself." Drake added.

They enter a huge, pitch-black room. They knew it was huge because they could hear echoes in their voices when they came in.

"Dammit! I can't see anything!" Naru whined.

"I should've brought night vision goggles if I knew we'd be in a place like this." Drake added.

Suddenly, the floor below them lit up below them in a brilliant green. A pattern on the floor began to make out as it glowed. The foursome took a little time to find out what it was after it took form.

"A crucifix?" Keitaro spoke.

"Remember the Guttenberg Bible." Yomiko answered.

Suddenly Naru sees someone from the other side of the room. She sees a young girl who seems to be in her teens. She had short blue hair with blue eyes to match. She wore a short green and yellow dress with a green hood and the word "Cabot" written on it, yellow socks, and green shoes. After what happened yesterday, Naru was skeptical.

"Hold on." Keitaro said. He cleared his mind of all thoughts. Though exhausted from breaking through the AT Field, he could still feel the energy flowing in his surroundings. He calmly walked forward and put his right hand on the girl's head, and then he smiled. "Hi, Shinobu."

"Sempai!" She quickly embraced him.

"Is it really?" Yomiko said.

"Yep." Keitaro replied. "Once again, it was my training with Seta. I learned the basics of how to sense someone's aura. While my abilities aren't refined in any way, I know for sure the vibes coming out of her are good. If it was her clone, it wouldn't be so, as Motoko suggested."

"Wow, Keitaro." Naru said. "I'm impressed."

(O)

Johann was laughing again. "Ha ha! This boy doesn't cease to amaze me. I thought for sure they'd mistake her for the clone."

"Sir?" Madame Curie interrupted. "Jacques de Vaucanson is still alive. The signal is weak, but I'm sure he's still out there."

"That's good to hear." Johann replied. "Re-establish communication with him. Then tell him to hurry up and go to Quadrant II. Also, have Shinobi there; we'll have them team up."

"That's an affirmative, sir." Madame Curie responded as she turns to the computer in front of her.

"I, on the other hand, have a call to make." Johann turns on his cell phone and dials a number. "Hello?…Yes, it's time…Don't worry. They're here in the fortress…Me, neither…Alright. Don't fail me, now…ok. Bye." He turns off his cell phone and turns back to the monitor to watch the happy reunion. He smirks. "Enjoy it, while you can. I assure you it won't last long."

(O)

A dark figure sits on the roof of the Hinata Inn with a cell phone in his right hand. He puts the phone in his pocket and puts an evil grin on his face. "It's about time." A harsh but confident voice came out of his mouth. He stands up and looks around the Inn's backyard. "IT'S SHOWTIME!" He jumps off the roof with a maniacal laugh echoing in the background.

End Chapter 4

Now review and tell me what you think.

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Next Episode of _Love-Or-Die Hina_

Chapter 5: _Before the Climax! Let's Rock It, Bee-Yotches!_

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Author's Notes:

We all know who the US President is, now. President Cole is a character in _Read or Die_ with a bladder control problem. ROD isn't quite ROD without him peeing his pants.

If you want to know more about Zhang Sanfeng, look him up on Wikipedia. Be prepare to do some research on Chinese martial arts and such.

Maria Skłodowska-Curie, known as Marie Curie (1867-1934), is famous for her pioneering research in radioactivity and discovering two new chemical elements, radium for its intense radioactivity, and polonium for her native country Poland. She won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1903 and the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1911 after discovering the two new elements.

Jacques de Vaucanson (1709-1782) is known as the inventor of the first true robots.

Most of this information is based on research on Wikipedia (which is a site you just HAVE to go to, by the way), and interpreted by myself. If I'm wrong in any way, feel free to correct me, because there may be a good chance that I put this all down wrong.

The next chapter will be more action and some nice fight sequences put in for good measure. I won't reveal much, but let's just say Motoko and Kanako have to join forces to fight an I-jin you would never expect.

See you next chapter.

GYRAX


	5. Let's Rock It, Beeyotches!

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

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A dark figure sits on the roof of the Hinata Inn. He. A cell phone in his pocket rings, and with that, he picks it up. "Hello?…Master Johann. Is it time?…What of Agent Paper and her three stooges?…Thank God, I wouldn't want to have to go up against that kind of power, now…Now commencing operation…I WON'T fail!…Ok, see ya." A harsh but confident voice came out of his mouth. He turns the phone off and puts it in his pocket with an evil grin on his face. "It's about time." He stands up and looks around the Inn's backyard. "IT'S SHOWTIME!" He jumps off the roof with a maniacal laugh echoing in the background.

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GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 5: _Before the Climax! Let's Rock It, Bee-Yotches!_

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Back at the I-jin fortress…

"Alrighty, then." Yomiko said, looking at a map. "The fortress is divided into four quadrants, each with its own sound tower, stabilizers, and what not. All the corridors eventually lead straight into the center structure. We just go ahead."

"That's simple enough." Keitaro replied.

"And we're in Quadrant II." Drake added. "Not that it really matters."

"And we have Shinobu here to thank for providing us with a map." Naru chimed in.

Shinobu's face turns red, happy that she was able to help. They were walking down a long and dark metallic corridor that looked like they were in a large tunnel of some sort. Both walls had an array of dimly lit wall lights. As they walked, Keitaro felt uneasy.

Naru noticed that Keitaro was opening and closing his hands constantly. She had a feeling something was wrong with him, so she went to check. "Something wrong, Keitaro?"

"Yeah." He replied. "For some reason, I'm feeling unusually nervous."

"That's normal." Yomiko answered. "We all feel it; it's the feeling you get when you know that all of mankind is depending on you. After all, if we fail every human being on Earth will die."

"Gee, way to add on the pressure." Keitaro sighed. He tried to calm down, and he eventually cooled off a bit, but he suddenly feels a chill on his spine. "There it is, again."

"What?" Naru asked.

Before he even got to answer, a net fell on him. "WAAAAAAARGH! SOMEONE HELP ME!" He was now lying on the floor, trapped under a black net.

"What the hell?" Naru said. Then she looked up and saw a dark figure fall towards her. She quickly stepped back but the figure did a spinning heel kick to her face, sending her to a wall. The figure suddenly moved to Yomiko and kicked her to another wall, and then picked up Shinobu and threw her at Drake. The collision sent them both to the floor.

Drake got up, only to hear an eerie rumble behind him. He turned to see what it was, but he could hardly believe it. "You're still alive?"

Jacques de Vaucanson stood right in front of him with a spear in his right hand. "Monsieur Drake Anderson. That hurt like Hell!" The mecha drove his spear right towards him.

(O)

"It's about time you went back to normal, Motoko." Kitsune said as Motoko walked past her and out of the living room, giving no response.

Kitsune just looked at her funny as she exited the room. "Maybe not." She followed Motoko all the way to the back of the Inn, where she stopped and looked to her left. There, they both saw a male figure stands at the hill.

He seemed to be standing at least six and a half feet tall, with dark skin and bleach white hair fixed in a terrible do, similar to Super Saiyan Gohan, and piercing red eyes. He wore a white buttoned shirt, only buttoned halfway up though, revealing his chest, as well as a plethora of bling, and black bell-bottoms. He wore golden shoes and had a guitar strapped to his back.

The rest of the Hinata crew followed Kitsune outside. Kanako stood behind Motoko and looked straight at the male figure.

Motoko cautiously approached the man. "I felt a strong, but evil aura coming out of your body. Who are you, and why are you here?"

The man turns to them. "We I-jin don't waste our time talking to filthy vermin." He spoke in a harsh voice. Then he ran.

"What was that?" Motoko chased him down the hill.

"Did he say he was an I-jin?" Kanako said to herself as she and the others followed them down the hill. The man stops at the bottom and looks at the girls behind him.

"I'm going to ask you one more time." Motoko said. "Who are you?"

"Did you just say that you were an I-jin?" Kanako asked.

"So what if I am?" The man answered. "Now, stay out of my way or I'll have to use force."

"You were the scumbags that stole my manuscript!" Motoko cried out. "And now everyone knows about it! Everything I wrote on it was an amalgamation of all of my most private thoughts, and you people invaded that privacy (that and that thing that happened in New York). For your injustices, you I-jin must be punished! ROCK SPLITTING SWORD!" With a mighty swing of her sword, she sent a wave of ki towards him.

The man grabbed the guitar that was strapped on his back with his left hand and held it up high, revealing the shape of a Fender Stratocaster electric guitar. With a maniacal grin on his face, he slammed it on the floor, creating a sonic boom of sorts and canceling out Motoko's attack.

"He deflected it." Motoko said surprised at what happened. "And with a guitar no less."

The I-jin held his guitar over his left shoulder and put another smirk on his face. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am the original Rock God. I am Jimi Hendrix!"

Kitsune gasped. "By God, no way!"

"Really?" Sarah added. "Who is Jimi Hendrix?"

"Only the most important electric guitarist in history." Kitsune explained. "His image as a rock star has placed him in the lineage of Little Richard, Chuck Barry, Elvis Presley, and the Beatles. As a guitarist, he was an innovator as well as a true visionary. He died of overdose and choking on his own vomit."

"Sorry." Motoko said. "But I don't like Gaijin music."

"That's too bad." Hendrix replied. "Cuz you're gonna DIE LISTENING TO IT!"

(O)

Naru and Yomiko are standing in front of who looked like Shinobi. The Shinobu clone donned a short blue kimono with daisies printed on it, a katana strapped to her back, and she's now packed with handy arm-blades.

Yomiko whispered to Naru's ear. "I'll provide a distraction for her while you go and free Urashima-san. She's aware that the two of you work better as a duo, so she's trying to keep you two separated."

"Got it." Naru responded. She made a mad dash towards Keitaro. Shinobi went to chase her, but was intercepted by The Paper. Yomiko swung her paper sword, but the clone effortlessly dodged all her attacks. Shinobi jumped back and threw water balloons at her, holding her at bay long enough to catch up to Naru and deliver a swift kick to the back of her head before she reached Keitaro.

Naru gets up and looks back at the I-jin. "Damn! She's too fast. She won't even let me get near Keitaro. And to top it off, Mr. Drake's too busy with Megatron over there."

Jacques fired a hailstorm of bullets at Drake from his machine gun. Drake began encircling him, returning fire with his M16 carbine, only to have his rounds bounce off his tough armor. Drake pulled out a grenade and threw it at him, only to see him shield himself from the explosion. Jacques counterattacked by firing a beam out of his head-mounted laser cannon, but Drake jumped out of the way and barely avoided it.

"Now what do I do?" Drake said to himself as he ran to avoid another hail of machinegun fire.

Yomiko cautiously approached Shinobi, but she had a handful of water balloons to keep the Paper at bay. She threw the water balloons and quickly ran up to Naru, grabbing her by her shirt.

(O)

"God, they're idiots." Johann mused. "They were so focused on infiltrating Laputa that they completely forgot all about their precious inn. Let's see how Jimi-boy's doing."

"Yes, sir." Madame Curie replied.

(O)

At the British Library's War Room…

"I can understand Jacques de Vaucanson, Marie Curie, and Zhang Sanfeng, but Jimi Hendrix?" Joker sweatdropped. "Wendy? Are you sure this is right?"

"Absolutely." Wendy responded. "That's all the data we gathered on the fortress, its personnel, and what they plan on doing once they reach Hinata."

"Right." Joker replied. "Thanks again, Wendy." As Wendy leaves, Joker looks at the files in front of him. One thing he saw caused him to raise an eyebrow.

(O)

Hendrix slammed his guitar on the ground, creating a sonic boom to cancel out another of Motoko's attacks. Kanako quickly ran up to him and attacked with a volley of punches. Hendrix had to use his guitar to block all of them until he had a chance to jump back. He made another sonic boom, but Kanako quickly moved out of the way, leaving the attack to head straight towards Motoko, who canceled it with another Rock Splitting Sword.

"You're stronger than I thought." Motoko admitted, catching her breath.

"Of course." Hendrix replied with pride. "We I-jin are naturally strong, and I have my guitar to do most of my dirty work. Contact with the ground or anything solid, and a sonic boom is made."

"I see." Kitsune said to herself. "It's some modified version of his Fender Stratocaster."

"You seem to know your guitars." Haruka remarked.

"I listen to Metallica."

"Perhaps I can show you what else this thing is capable of." Hendrix held the guitar by its bridge. Then, he pulled one of the strings. Suddenly, it shot a huge sonic boom; sending Motoko and Kanako back.

(O)

Naru was slammed against a nearby wall; Shinobi still held her by her shirt. Then, Shinobi threw her to the ground. Yomiko came from behind and attacked with a paper whip, but the clone used her retracted arm-blades to block it. She threw more water balloons to hold the Paper at bay. After dealing with her, Shinobi began punishing Naru with a barrage of lightning fast punches, then following it up with a kick to the head and sending her further down the hall. She saw Yomiko come back at her with the corner of her eye, but continued kicking Naru across the halls, while at the same time using her retracted arm-blades to block all the attacks thrown at her from Yomiko's paper sword.

With a snarl, Shinobi clearly shows that she's had it with the Paper's interference and gave her a swift snap kick to her face, sending her down the hallway. She came back at Naru, who was now lying on the ground, severely weakened by the seemingly endless barrage of attacks. The clone looked down on her in utter disdain as she extended her arm-blades, ready to slice. "I win." She raised her right arm, it's blade ready for a good decapitation. She was ready to lower it like a guillotine in the French Revolution…

Then, a figure gave her a powerful kick to her face, sending her to a nearby wall.

Keitaro, still trapped under the net, looked at the figure in clear shock. "SHINOBU?"

Shinobu was now dressed in the same attire as her clone, Shinobi. She quickly pinned her against the wall and looked at Yomiko, who now just got up. "Quickly! Get Naru and Sempai out of here!"

Yomiko looked at Keitaro and sweatdropped. _Whoops! Forgot all about him!_ She then looked back at Shinobu. "Are you sure you'll be ok?"

"Yes, I am!" Shinobu said. "My ancestor was a ninja!" The clone, still pinned to the wall, gave her a blank stare.

Yomiko began to see something in Shinobu; she released Keitaro and picked up the barely conscious Naru. She and Keitaro ran for it, with Naru on the Paper's shoulders.

Jacques saw them escape and went to follow them, but Drake shot a lob grenade at him, destroying his jetpack.

"Hey ugly!" Drake called out. "Where are you going? I'm over here!"

The two Shinobus are now standing within five feet of one another; you couldn't tell which one was which. They quickly went into fighting stance. They stood absolutely still and stared at one another, one waiting for the other to attack. A pause fills the hallway (except for Drake and Jacques who are creating absolute havoc). After staring one another down, they quickly came at each other. They were nimbly and acrobatically dodging and attacking one another, the duel beginning to resemble a performance at the Cirque du Soleil.

As Yomiko and Keitaro ran with Naru, Joker's voice came over their earpieces. "Is everyone all right?"

"Unfortunately," The Paper responded. "Narusegawa-san is out cold. Besides that, we're all just fine."

"Oh, my." Joker said. "Ok, we may have an idea of what the I-jin are really up to. We discovered that Hinata is known by few for an anomaly called Love-Love."

"Love-Love?" Keitaro said, puzzled.

"It's an inexplicable phenomenon exclusive to the Hinata Inn's forbidden annex." Joker answered. "It is believed this phenomenon, what people believed to be magic, is strong enough to even bind two men together. The fortress you just infiltrated is called 'Laputa'."

"Laputa?" Yomiko spoke. "As in the flying island from 'Gulliver's Travels'?"

"Precisely." Joker replied. "And the orb on the center structure is the 'Lillith's Egg'."

"As in 'End of Evangelion'?" Keitaro said.

Joker didn't say anything for the moment. Then he came spoke again. "Apparently, the Lillith's Egg was designed specifically for harnessing the strange energy trapped in the annex to where it can increase its storage capacity. It can also use that power so the broadcast of the recital of Aoyama-san's manuscript can be effective all over the planet. An I-jin would be sent to the Hinata Inn's annex to trap this energy in a medallion which was said to be designed by a man known as the Southern Master, believed by some to be a real wizard. They would then put the medallion in a compartment on the fortress, and they would successfully harness the power needed to carry out the The Human Genetic Selection Plan, a plan that was attempted by the I-jin a year ago. This is lovingly dubbed 'Operation Find an Ass of a Chicken', because like a bird using its warmth to nestle its eggs, Love-Love is supposed to nurture the Lillith's Egg."

"My God." That was all Keitaro said.

"How far is Laputa away from Hinata, right now?" The Paper asked.

"About one hundred kilometers." The Joker answered. "Hurry up! It won't be long until they reach the annex!"

With that, Yomiko and Keitaro picked up speed, with Naru on Yomiko's shoulders.

(O)

Hendrix slammed his guitar on the ground, creating another sonic boom, but Motoko cancelled it out with another Rock Splitting Sword.

"SUMIMASEN PUNCH!" Kanako comes from behind him and thrusts her palm onto his face, sending towards Motoko.

The samurai saw him coming and prepared for another attack. "MOTOKO SLASH!" With a mighty strike of her sword, she sent him flying a good distance before he hit the ground.

The I-jin got up and growled at the martial artists in front of him. "Damn! We studied them extensively and they weren't supposed to join forces!"

"Well," Kanako replied. "For now, we have a common goal, which is whipping your candy ass."

"Hah!" He held his guitar up high. "Good thing Lady Shinobi has anticipated this!" He pressed a silver button on the guitar's bridge. Suddenly, a female voice came out of it! It spoken, "Yoo-hoo! Tama-chan!"

Even if that moment was awkward, she was well aware of what that name meant to her. Suddenly, Tama-chan came out, flying towards Motoko. "Myuu!"

All Motoko said was, "Oh God!"

(O)

"Marie?" Johann turned to Madame Curie.

"Yes, sir?" Curie responded.

"Continue the operation without me. I'm going out for a walk." With that, Johann left.

"Sir?" Madame Curie asked again.

End Chapter 5

Now review and tell me what you think.

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Next Episode of _Love-Or-Die Hina_

Chapter 6: _I've Reached Climax!_

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Author's Notes:

The Fender Stratocaster was the guitar Jimi Hendrix was most associated with. It was also the biggest selling electric guitar in history. Stratocasters were owned by the likes of Buddy Holly, Frank B. Marvin, and guitarist Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top.

We all know about Miyazaki's _Laputa, Castle in the Sky_, but even that flying castle was based on the flying island in _Gulliver's Travels_. Laputa's inhabitants can steer it any way they like. Its tyrannical user used it to threaten rebellious regions of the mainland with the islands shadow. Credit goes to Star Otaku's fanfic _Ripped from the Pages_.

Most of this information is based on research on Wikipedia (which is a site you just HAVE to go to, by the way), and interpreted by myself. If I'm wrong in any way, feel free to correct me, because there may be a good chance that I put this all down wrong.

See you next chapter.

GYRAX


	6. I’ve Reached Climax!

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

When I started writing this chapter, _Love or Die Hina_ had a staggering one hundred and twenty eight hits (staggering in my mind at least.). I would like to thank everyone that took his or her time to review this work, as it has motivated me to continue writing this work (the fact that I'm so close to the end has also motivated me.). I like to give a special thanks to NefCanuck for giving me support by reviewing all my chapters, and I also like to especially thank Drgnmastr-Alex for giving me much support by reviewing all of my works. Be sure to read his fic _Love Hina: New and Old Faces, Same Zaniness_; it's really good. Thanks also to encyser for pointing out a few things for me. Another note: don't forget to check my profile and read _Career Goers of Tomorrow_ for me, ok? Thanks!

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GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 6: _I've Reached Climax! (Part 1)_

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The air was silent in what looked like the Nuclear Reactor Room in the bottom of the fortress. The whole room was glowing green from the radioactivity of the nuclear generators below. Suddenly, two figures crash and fall onto a catwalk. The two get up and stand within ten feet of one another. A long silence fills the room except for the hum from the generators.

The green glow reveals the figures to be the two Shinobus, staring down one another as they each look for an opportunity to attack. Then, they both went for it. The two exchanged blows with one another and quickly jumped away from each other. They both extended their arm-blades and clashed with one another again. One Shinobu jumped away to avoid a slash from the other. Then, the other Shinobu pursued her with her right arm-blade grinding the metallic catwalk. Then, she attempted another slash, but the one Shinobu performed a back flip over it and landed a few feet form her. The two quickly went at it again, slashing and dodging one another with utmost grace. It was just like the battle between Nancy and Nancy one year back. You couldn't tell which one was good and which one was evil. Hell, they even wore the same strawberry panties.

(O)

Johann liked what he saw. "The real thing is better than I thought, but Shinobi has more experience in combat, so this should be an easy victory for her." The monitor turned off. Then, he turns to Madame Curie. "Marie?"

"Yes, sir?" Curie responded.

"Continue the operation without me. I'm going out for a walk." With that, Johann left.

"Sir?" Madam Curie asked again.

(O)

Hendrix held his guitar up high. "Good thing Lady Shinobi has anticipated this!" He pressed a silver button on the guitar's bridge. Suddenly, a female voice came out of it! It spoken, "Yoo-hoo! Tama-chan!"

Even if that moment was awkward, Motoko was well aware of what that name meant to her. Suddenly, Tama-chan came out, flying towards her. "Myuu!"

All Motoko said was, "Oh God!" Then she had Tama-chan clings to her face and all hell broke loose. "WRRRAAAAGH! I'M BEING HUMPED BY A TURTLE!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hendrix couldn't stop himself.

"Lowbrow tactic!" Kanako cried out as she ran towards him. She threw a punch, but he jumped back to avoid it. He returned the favor with a sonic boom.

"URASHIMA DRAGON FANG!" She canceled the sonic boom out and jumped high. She fell towards him and attempted strong jump punch, but he used his guitar to block it. The force of the attack formed a circle of dust around them. Kanako quickly raised her left foot and kicked him straight to the chin, causing to fall backwards. He recovered fairly quickly.

"Got you, Tama-chan!" Su pulled the turtle off Motoko's face.

"Thanks, Su." Motoko said gratefully.

"It was just the bad guy was using sound to control Tama-chan. That's a real neat-o guitar, don't you think?"

"Never mind that. I still have business to attend to." Motoko stormed towards the battle. She ran at lightning speed and approached Hendrix from the side; the I-jin didn't see what was coming. "MOTOKO SLASH!" The attack sent him flying a god distance. Kanako then came up and kicked the guitar out of his left hand.

Motoko saw the freefalling instrument and took the opportunity. "GOD'S CRY SCHOOL! EVIL CUTTING FIST, FIRST FORM!" She successfully cut it in half, completely destroying it.

When Hendrix got up, he saw his guitar sliced in half, and his face clearly showed unadulterated astonishment, and then it became white-hot rage. "**MY** (BLEEEEEEEEEEP) **GUITAR!**" His glare grew exponentially demonic. "**HOW THE **(BLEEP) **COULD YOU **(BLEEP) (BLEEP) **DO THIS TO MY **(BLEEEEEEEEEEP) **FENDER STRATOCASTER, YOU **(BLEEP (BLEEP)"

"DAYAMN!" Kanako said, as her eyes were now white circles, as well as everyone else's. "You could seriously get an aneurysm in a rage like that."

"**I DON'T **(BLEEP) **CARE WHAT YOU **(BLEEP) **THINK! YOU DESTROYED MY **(BLEEP) **AXE, YOU **(BLEEP)**! I'M GONNA **(BLEEP) **KILL YOU!**" He quickly took out a capsule and slammed it to the ground, creating a shroud of pink smoke. The smoke cleared out quickly, revealing a set of gargantuan amplifiers, with a microphone attached. Suddenly, a salvo of missiles destroyed the amplifiers, the explosion throwing him a few feet forward.

You then see a big yellow mecha piloted by Su, with Sarah sitting on its left shoulder. "Not on my watch!" Su exclaimed with much enthusiasm.

Hendrix got up and saw that now his giant amplifiers were discombobulated, too. Suddenly, the Hinata girls surrounded him, all looking at him with anger in their faces. "Oh, crap." The girls all gave him evil glares. Then…

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!**" He was pounded to a pulp.

(O)

Yomiko had Naru on her shoulders as she and Keitaro finally made it to the center structure.

"Maehara-chan told us that Henry Gray made rejuvenation chambers at the bottom level of the Center Structure, which is not too far from us." Yomiko said. "They were originally made to heal injured I-jin, but we could also use it to our own convenience." She approached Keitaro. "You take care of Narusegawa-san, ok? I know there's going to be more I-jin coming for us, so I'll distract them, while you put Narusegawa-san in a chamber and look over her. After she's fully revived, you two will have to take the fortress out on your own, alright?"

"What?" Keitaro replied. Yomiko approached him and grabbed his cheeks, then stretched them and let them go.

"Ow!" Keitaro held his cheeks. "What was that for?"

"Encouragement." Yomiko answered without missing a beat. "Nancy always did that to me."

Keitaro scratched his head. "Who's Nancy?"

Never mind that." Yomiko replied. "I'll explain later. Just take care of her, ok?" She put Naru on his shoulders. "By the way, you two make a great couple, you know that?"

"Really?" He said.

"Of course. You two have this vibe going on when you 're together. I can feel it!"

"Really?" Keitaro's face turned red. "I'll see to it that she'll be ok, all right?"

"Thanks." Yomiko left. Keitaro headed towards a room and put Naru in one of the many rejuvenation chambers neatly aligned to his right.

(O)

Later, The Paper was wandering the halls of the center structure when she saw a figure standing in front of her. She gave him a quick glance. "YOU! Come into the light!"

"Since this hallway is strewn with lights, I'm already in the light." He said.

Yomiko knew instantly who it was. "Johannes Gutenberg!"

Suddenly, papers came from the floor, walls, and ceiling and encircled Johann.

"A Paper Master?" Yomiko said in shock.

"Precisely!"

(O)

Naru was sleeping safe and sound in her chamber, healing her injuries while Keitaro was looking around to see if anyone was coming for them. There hasn't been a sign of life, yet. Then, he saw two automatons approaching him. By the way they appeared they seemed to be works from Jacques de Vaucanson. Just as Keitaro saw them, they quickly came for him to attack with cattle prods. Keitaro saw the attack and jumped over them, then he went in to punch one of them, but it blocked his fist.

"Crap!" was all that escaped his mouth before he has pounded to the ground and relentlessly shocked by the automatons' cattle prods. "YEEEEOWCH! THAT HURTS! OW! OW! OW! AGONY!"

Just as he was getting fried, the door to the one operating chamber opened, with smoke escaping fro it. Naru stepped out and looked at herself. She was impressed when she saw that about all her injuries have healed. She saw Keitaro getting electrocuted and she quickly came up to them and used her signature atomic punch to send both of them clear out of the fortress. She saw Keitaro lying on the floor in a nice black crisp. "You all right?"

"I can't believe you asked that question!" Keitaro cried out. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Naru."

"No problem." Naru replied.

(O)

Paper was flying all over the halls as Yomiko was struggling to shield herself from Johann's paper attacks. The I-jin knew that she was having trouble catching up, so he put a grin on his face. Then, he pointed his finger at her, and… a pressurized blast of black ink shot out and almost hit The Paper. Yomiko looked to see a trace of ink on her shoulders and looked at him.

"Hah! How's that?" Johann mused.

"What the hell did you do?" Agent Paper said.

"I forgot to tell you. I'm not just a Paper Master, but I'm also an Ink Master! Ha-ha! I can shoot ink out of any part of my body! My entire anatomy is nothing but paper flesh and ink blood! Ha ha ha!"

"You can't be serious."

"You want to go again?"

(O)

Naru and Keitaro were standing in a fancy elevator leading up to the top floor of the center structure. They look at each other; both are psyched.

"So we have to do this alone, huh?" Naru spoke.

"Yeah." Keitaro answered. "Readman-sensei said she would stop the I-jin from reaching us so we have the clearance needed to stop the fortress. All we can do now is accomplish our mission and hope everyone's okay."

The elevator stops and the two get out with utmost caution. They creep along the top floor with utmost caution. They were walking around the floor, even taking a little time to enjoy the atmosphere that went with the top floor. The hallways now resembled that of a ritzy hotel, walls and floor in marble and an arched ceiling with chandeliers perfectly aligned. Eventually, they reached what looked like the control room. They only took peeks because they didn't want to get caught. The control room was fairly large, with monitors and consoles all around. There, they saw two people, one was sitting in front of a console and one was sitting on the floor, seemingly meditating.

"What now?" Naru whispered.

"I have no idea. YOU'RE the genius." Keitaro answered.

"Don't patronize me." Naru snapped back.

Suddenly, Keitaro got a cramp on his left ankle, causing him to fall on Naru. "Dammit! Why did I have to fall, now? Why, GYRAX!" After he fell, his head became safely nestled between Naru's breasts.

"Now isn't the time, you pervert!" She punched him right into the I-jin control room. Now, she realized that she made a mistake. "Shoot! Bad reflex!"

Bad reflex is an understatement, as Keitaro flew right towards Madame Curie, only to be stopped by… an AT Field?

Naru watched in shock and awe. "No way! That was the same force field as from when we tried to get in here." She rushed into the room to aid Keitaro.

Suddenly, Zhang stood up from his meditation and looked at Naru aiding Keitaro. "Agent Human Shield and Miss Fist. I'm glad to see you." He said in an emotionless voice.

Keitaro got up. "Who the hell are you? And why do you sound so bored (or hopped up on dope or something)?"

"For your information, I'm not drugged in any way. Second, I'm Zhang Sanfeng, founder of Tai Chi, and all around master of _chi_."

"That force field was YOURS?" Naru asked.

"Yes, it is? It's called the AT Field, because those who see it are struck with Absolute Terror."

"Another Evangelion reference?" Keitaro said. "Why, GYRAX!"

Madame Curie also stood up. "And I'm Marie Curie, pioneer in radioactivity. I'm responsible for Laputa's nuclear engine." A pattern in her right arm began to mysteriously glow green. She aimed her arm towards them with her palm open, and a green energy blast suddenly shot out, almost hitting Naru and Keitaro on the spot. Luckily, they just avoided it.

"Ha-ha!" Madame Curie mused. "Let's just see if Keitaro's infamous invulnerability can withstand a radioactive blast. Who knows what could happen if I actually hit him. I may even take the invincibility away from his skin. Gamma rays can do weird things to you."

Keitaro could hardly believe what he said. If he lost his touch, he might not survive another Naru punch. Naru couldn't believe it either. Madame curried shot another gamma ray at them, almost hitting them again. Suddenly, Zhang came out of nowhere to attack. Keitaro used his skin to block a kick from him. Then, Naru punched him to the other side to the control room. After that, they avoid another radioactive blast.

Madam Curie couldn't stop herself. "Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho!"

(O)

Yomiko put up a paper barrier to shield herself from Johann's deadly ink blasts. Then, her barrier turned into a claw and tried to grab her, but she quickly rolled out of the way. She breathed heavily as she glared at him, thinking about what to do next.

_Damn!_ She thought. _His paper magic is on par with mine. Add to it an extra power, and I'm between a rock and a hard place._ She was completely focused on him, that insidious but stupid grin on his face telling him that he has the upper hand. Suddenly, paper missiles flew towards her. The Paper dodged a few of them, but one successfully hit her, covering her in ink and sending her a few feet back. Then, four paper tentacles came from his back to strike her, two of them slitting her left arm. Agent Paper used ripped pieces of paper to bandage herself and make sure no ink went into her bloodstream. She gathered any paper she could reach and formed it into a giant ball and threw it at him. He used his paper magic to make the ball explode before it reached him, but alas, that was merely a diversionary tactic. Yomiko ran up to him with a paper arm-blade on her right arm and thrusts it right into his solar plexus.

Johann's face became one of pure shock. "I'm…an IDIOT!" He exploded in a burst of ink. Yomiko looked at herself and saw that she was covered in ink. She had to clean herself.

(O)

Zhang punched Keitaro to a nearby wall in the control room, but Naru punched Zhang to the exact same wall.

_He has my atomic punch and Keitaro's invulnerability. What to do?_ Zhang came back to throw another punch at Naru, but Keitaro came to shield her from it. Naru used another atomic punch to send Zhang to another wall. Then, they barely avoid another blast of radioactivity form Madame Curie.

_I can't throw Keitaro at Radiation Girl over there. She'll just screw up his invincibility!_ She needed Keitaro's invulnerability right now, for it's become far more useful than just a punching bag. She realized it was also is invulnerability that saved her may times since they became temp agents. Suddenly, she saw someone come up from behind her and scratch her left cheek.

"Ow!" She put her hand on her cheek, and then she looked at it; it was bleeding. "Dammit! What was that for?" She looked and saw Shinobu, or what was supposed to be Shinobu, but Naru already had a feeling that it might not be. She stood still as she stared her down. "Wh-What happened to Shinobu?"

Keitaro looked at Naru, and then the girl. "You mean that's…"

"If I was the I-jin," the girl interjected. "Naru-sempai's veins would be purple already. Shinobi's fingernails were poisoned."

Naru looked at her wrist and saw that nothing was wrong with her. "She's right."

"Shinobu!" Keitaro exclaimed as he quickly ran to her. "Shinobu, you're okay!"

"Yep. I won, isn't that great?"

"Yeah." Keitaro said. "But what happened to the clone?"

"About that."

Zhang went to attack, but Shinobu saw it and kicked him back to a nearby wall. Then she easily jumped over a Gamma ray from Madame curie. The girl quickly ran to her and performed a flair kick and tripped her. The I-jin woman then had a sheet of paper at her throat.

"Dayamn!" Keitaro cried out. "She kicked both their asses!"

"Is that Readman-sensei?" Naru interrupted.

Keitaro looked and saw Yomiko holding a sheet of paper over Madame Curie's throat. "My God, yeah, it is!"

"Urashima-san! Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Take the controls!"

"Roger!" Keitaro ran up, only to bump into another AT Field.

"It's an AT Field!" Shinobu cried out.

Yomiko was confused. "What's it called?"

Keitaro got his fist ready to punch through it, but Shinobu touched his shoulder. "Sempai let me try."

"?"

Shinobu quickly ran up to Zhang with an arm-blade extended and cut the AT Field in half. Everyone else, especially Zhang, could hardly believe how easily she broke through it.

"She sliced through the AT Field like it was just a tomato!" Naru said.

Shinobu went up to Zhang and held an arm-blade to his throat. She turned to Keitaro. "Sempai! Take the controls, now!"

"Right!" The former ronin ran up to the controls.

(O)

The hallways on the bottom of the center structure were littered with paper; a metallic sphere rose up from the pile of paper and into the air. As the sphere hovered, ink and paper began to rise up and formed circles below and one circle around the sphere. The paper and ink then began to form a physical structure. Arms and legs came out; hands and fingers began to form; hair grew out of the head; feet touched the ground. Then ther white paper began to turn into a flesh color. Johann Gutenberg has officially regenerated his entire body. He chuckled evilly and looked behind him.

(O)

Hendrix slowly got up after the girls went back to the Hinata Inn. He stumbled towards the annex, which lied in front of him. He took a hexagonal medallion out of his pocket and held it in front of the annex. He began to laugh maniacally as he may have managed to fool the Hinata girls and finally reach the forbidden annex. The medallion began to glow violet.

At that moment, a shadow loomed over the Hinata Inn, covering it completely. The shadow… came from Laputa, the I-jin fortress.

To be continued…

Now review and tell me what you think.

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Next Episode of _Love-Or-Die Hina_

Chapter 6b: _I've Reached Climax! (Part 2) _or _The End?_

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Author's Notes:

Henry Gray was an English anatomist known for his book _Anatomy, Descriptive and Surgical_, first published in 1858; it was a medical reference directed at physicians. It's also known as _Gray's Anatomy_.

If Shinobu's a ninja, she has to have immense _chi_ to easily break through Zhang's AT Field, right? The battle between the two Shinobus is also a tribute to the Read or Die O.V.A. I wanted to make it just like the fight scene between Nancy and Nancy in the anime.

The scene when Jimi Hendrix flipped out was inspired by a hilarious police video I saw once on Spike TV. Basically, this driver of a red SUV was pulled off by a state trooper and needless to say, he was pissed. When the officer gave hi the ticket and told hi how much it cost (which was $137.50), he totally lost it; he was screaming and swearing like it was the flipping Apocalypse. Surprisingly, after that incident, the SUV driver became a more composed and calmer happy-go-lucky guy.

Just one chapter left! See you there!

GYRAX


	7. The End?

Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

Well, this is it! The last chapter! I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have, as I'll make sure that I put all my heart and soul into it, completely focusing on the teamwork and bond between Naru and Keitaro and projecting it out the way I see it. Well, here we go!

* * *

GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina 

Chapter 6b: _I've Reached Climax! (Part 2) _or _The End?_

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"Urashima-san! Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Take the controls!"

"Roger!" Keitaro ran up, only to bump into another AT Field.

"It's an AT Field!" Shinobu cried out.

Yomiko was confused. "What's it called?"

Keitaro got his fist ready to punch through it, but Shinobu touched his shoulder. "Sempai let me try."

"?"

Shinobu quickly ran up to Zhang with an arm-blade extended and cut the AT Field in half. Everyone else, especially Zhang, could hardly believe how easily she broke through it.

"She sliced through the AT Field like it was just a tomato!" Naru said.

Shinobu went up to Zhang and held an arm-blade to his throat. She turned to Keitaro. "Sempai! Take the controls, now!"

"Right!" The former ronin ran up to the controls. Suddenly, a sheet of paper just flew within an inch of his neck. "WHOA!" He turned to Yomiko. "Excuse me, Agent Paper, but… huh?" He noticed everyone was looking towards the control room's entrance. "What's going on?"

Just then, a silhouette entered the control room with a calm stride. Yomiko recognized the figure, but could hardly believe it. "Johann."

(O)

Hendrix slowly got up after the girls went back to the Hinata Inn. He stumbled towards the annex, which lied in front of him. He took a hexagonal medallion out of his pocket and held it in front of the annex. He began to laugh maniacally as he may have managed to fool the Hinata girls and finally reach the forbidden annex. The medallion began to glow violet.

At that moment, a shadow loomed over the Hinata Inn, covering it completely. The shadow… came from Laputa, the I-jin fortress.

Suddenly, the medallion began to absorb all the annex's magic, glowing brighter and brighter as it consumed the energy it needed. Then, the thing finally stopped absorbing and Hendrix pointed the thing away from the annex. He then held it up high.

"A GIFT FOR YOU, MASTER JOHANN!" The medallion floated away and headed towards the fortress, connecting itself to a compartment located right at the bottom.

Kitsune went outside to see what was going on. When she saw the fortress, she instantly panicked. "Holy crizzap! It's just like _Independence Day_!" She went back in. A minute later, she came back out, carrying all of the Hinata Girls, including Haruka, out of the Inn. As they were all kicking and screaming in confusion, Kitsune struggled to carry them down the stairs.

Just then, four large rods came from the sides of the center structure; they began to glow the same violet.

(O)

The control room also glowed violet, as Johann stood in front of the console and looked at everyone standing before him. "Looks like Jimi-boy did his job." He turns to Madame curie. "Marie. Initiate the final phase in the Secondary Emergency Control Room. Zhang, you follow her."

They open a door on one of the walls and enter another room, but not before Shinobu tackles Zhang.

"SHINOBU!" Keitaro and Naru shouted.

Johann turned to them. Shinobu? If that was the real thing, what happened to Shinobi?"

Keitaro responded. "Something to do with nuclear reactors, or something of the sort."

"SHE MELTED? (Thank God I didn't see that.)"

Suddenly, a hail of gunfire came from the control room entryway, striking Johann in his abdomen. When the gunfire stopped, he stood there slouched. Then, he absorbed the bullets and looked up, laughing evilly. "You caught me off guard, Rambo."

Standing at the entryway was none other than Drake Anderson. "Luckily, I had another C4."

"Mr. Drake!" Yomiko called out.

"We forgot all about him." Naru added.

"I'm surprised he was able to withstand that." Drake interjected.

"You can knock yourself out, Rambo, because my entire body is made of nothing but paper and ink!" Johann spoke.

"Paper?" Naru asked.

"Ink?" Keitaro added.

"The only thing not made of paper is my braincase," Johann continued. "Which is lodged safely in my head."

A long pause fills the room.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Naru said. "You just told us where your weak spot was."

Johann just put up a face of pure astonishment. "Well… I… I just… Well, my plan is still being put to motion and … and… I'VE ALREADY WON!" Paper arms came out of his back and struck the agents.

(O)

Shinobu came right at Madame Curie, but an AT Field stopped her, which gave Zhang enough time to grab and throw her. Shinobu quickly recovered, only to see the I-jin attack her. She saw him coming and easily jumped over him. She performed a two-and-a-half twist and landed perfectly, facing Zhang. Then she did a spinning heel kick to his face.

In the meantime, Madame Curie went to a console and picked up a conveniently placed microphone; it had a blue, purple, and red button placed on it. She first pushed the blue button.

(O)

As she did that, the black orb, the Lillith's Egg, rose off of the structure and flew off into space.

(O)

"Duck!" Drake tackled Naru and Keitaro in order to save them from an onslaught of paper knives. He looked up at Johann, who was dueling with Yomiko; paper was flying everywhere. "The man's crazy."

Johann launched a salvo of paper missiles at Yomiko; the Paper managed to dodge all of them, but only to be smashed up against a wall by a paper battering ram.

Drake saw what was going on and took the opportunity and shot a lob grenade at the paper battering ram, destroying it on contact.

When Keitaro got up, he saw what looked like the embers of burning paper. Then, something came to him.

(O)

"DODONPA WAVE!" Zhang sot a huge blast of ki straight at Shinobu, but she dodged it with ease and practically appeared right behind him. Then, she gave him a well-placed high kick, sending him to a nearby wall. Zhang quickly recovered and shot another ki blast at her, but she sidestepped to avoid it and she came right at him. He then attempted a punch, but Shinobu dodged it without effort and performed a sweep kick.

Meanwhile, Madame Curie pressed a purple button on the microphone.

(O)

As she did that, four rods came out of the sides of the center structure. Violet energy shot out of the rods and was gathered at the top of the center structure, where the Lillith's Egg used to be. Then, a beam shot out of the center structure; it was so brilliant, it would practically blind everyone within a three-mile radius. The beam hit the Lillith's Egg head on, causing it to slowly grow in size.

(O)

Mutsumi turned to see the beam of light in all of its brilliance. She stood there watching it in a state of shock and awe. "Eww, pretty light."

In the meantime, Shirai and Haitani saw it and grew irritated. "Is this the only part we get?"

As the orb grew, it became more and more visible to the naked eye, until it eventually stopped growing. After the beam of light dissipated, the Lillith's Egg became the size of the entire nation of Japan. The orb is now massive in size, and it almost eclipsed the sun. People came out of their cars, their houses, and their offices, to see the black orb that was covering up most of the sun. It was truly a sight to behold, as everyone looked at it in silence, some people conversing with one another, others conversing with the voices in their heads. Most of the populous began to worry, seeing the black orb as an omen; the object certainly wasn't the moon.

(O)

"What was that, Mr. President?" The Joker said from the British Library's War Room.

President Cole spoke through the intercom. "We have already assumed that your agents have failed in their mission and have decided to act on our own accord."

"I am asking you to wait a little more…"

"I have already lost my patience long before that black sphere appeared. The President signing off." And like that, the transmission was cut off.

The Joker sighed and tried to regain his composure. "He's acting out of impulse again."

Wendy enters. "Sir, the JSSDF has also failed to comply."

"What was that?"

(O)

The JSSDF had a nice alignment of tanks and ground artillery on the streets of Hinata, all aimed towards Laputa.

A barrage of missiles shot out of the JSSDF's missile boxes towards the fortress, only to get canceled out by an AT Field. The fortress shot out a beam of light at the alignment of tanks and artillery, destroying most of them on contact.

The fortress also fired a beam of light at an approaching squadron of American F/A-18 Hornets, destroying almost all of them in a second. The rest crashed into its AT Field.

(O)

Zhang did a flying kick, but missed Shinobu again. The girl landed behind him and held his neck.

"Pleas stop this, Sanfeng-san! I don't want to hurt you!" Shinobu cried out as she tried in futility to reason with the I-jin.

"Forget it." Zhang responded. Then, an aura began to emanate from him. Before you knew it, Shinobu quickly jumped away, and a shockwave of chi burst out of him.

Zhang then looked at her and quickly ran to her, attempting another kick, but Shinobu blocked it and threw him to a wall. The I-jin swiftly recovered and came for her, but instead ran off to the side and came at her from another angle, forcing her to adapt. The young girl did managed to adapt and jumped above him to avoid a punch. Then, she came down and planted her hands on his shoulders and performed a handstand. Then, she swung down and kicked him across the chin in a flip kick and landed on the ground. She followed it up with a flying kick to the abdomen, sending him to a nearby wall.

Zhang recovered in a hurry. "DODONPA WAVE!" He fired another shot of ki towards Shinobu, but she jumped to the side to avoid it, leaving the ki blast to head towards Madame Curie.

"CRAP!" Zhang put up an AT Field to block his own ki blast.

Madame Curie, meanwhile, pressed the red button on the microphone. She then pulled out Motoko's manuscript and began to recite it.

(O)

The PA system of doom activated and as Motoko's manuscript was read, the words began to ring in people's ears, and the sound began to travel all around the world; it was broadcasted on the radio, PA systems at schools and sports stadiums, there was no escape. Now, I don't have the writing skills to put down exactly what words were coming out of the fortress's speakers, but they were captivating enough to trap the hearts and souls of all of the Earth's population. They were listening to every word of what was broadcasted in a state of pleasure that they could not get out of, or yet, they didn't want to.

The people began to glow in white auras. Then, their souls, which appeared as little white glowing spheres, suddenly escaped from their bodies and headed towards the black orb that was the Lillith's Egg, where they were being absorbed. Billions of little white dots were flying from all over this world to get inside the large black sphere; it seemed like the biggest swarm of white fireflies were flying towards a huge ball in outer space.

(O)

Drake was repeatedly firing lob grenades, only to see Johann was throwing paper knives to cancel out each one of them, until a shroud of smoke covered him.

Johann laughed again. "That was fun, Rambo, but it didn't do anything. Unless…" Suddenly, Yomiko charged through the smoke and came at him with a paper sword, ready to slice. It was then he did the unthinkable; he detached his upper half of his body from his lower half, allowing the paper sword to slice air. Then the two halves of his body reconnected.

Yomiko put on a look of amazement over what just occurred. "What the hell?"

Johann put on a grin. "I forgot to tell you; I can detach and reattach any part of my body whenever I like." Paper tentacles came out of his back to strike The Paper, but she jumped back to avoid the attack. Drake then sot another lob grenade, but Johann threw a paper knife to destroy it, and then detached his fist from his right arm; the fist then made contact with Drake's face, sending him to a nearby wall. Drake then got up.

Keitaro walked up to him. "Mr. Drake. I have a plan, but I need you for this." He then whispered something to his ear.

What Drake heard had caused him to widen his eyes; he looked at him. "You're kidding right?"

"That's what I heard when he told me," Naru added. "But we're not taking any more chances. We'll have to trust him."

"Readman-sensei!" Keitaro yelled out. "Can you stall him for a minute? I have an idea, but you'll have to trust me on this one!"

"All right!" Yomiko responded. "You have my word!" She went right for Johann, who was trying to strike her with his two paper tentacles.

Keitaro stood still right in front of Drake, who was aiming his rifle right at him.

"All right, Drake!" Keitaro cried out. "Let her rip!" And with that, Drake fired one more lob grenade at him; the explosion pretty much engulfed him. When the smoke cleared, Keitaro emerged with his clothes on fire. Naru then stood behind him and faced Johann, pointing at him with tow fingers; it looked like she was aiming straight for him. Then finally, she threw a mighty punch at him, sending him straight towards Johann. The I-jin put up a paper barrier, but Keitaro crashed through it and collided right into him, causing his paper body to start burning. Yomiko then seemingly came out of nowhere and jumped at him with a paper trident, driving it to where his brain case is. Then, suddenly, he exploded in a brilliant purple light that almost engulfed Yomiko.

(O)

Shinobu suddenly sliced Zhang in half. Her eyes widened and almost formed tears over what she just did. "OH, NO! I'M SORRY! I'M SO, SO SORRY…IS THAT A BOMB!"

"What?" Madame Curie looked at her in shock and bewilderment.

Zhang suddenly exploded from the bomb implanted on his body. In that instant, Madame Curie just stared into space, frozen over the fact that she, too, may have a bomb implanted in her body. She drops the microphone.

The two began to stare at one another, and several long minutes of silence followed.

Shinobu spoke. "… Miss Curie?"

Suddenly, an electric spark triggered Curie's built-in bomb, and she, too, exploded. Shinobu just watched in shock. The electrical spark was from the console, which received some damage during the fight between Shinobu and Zhang.

Meanwhile, the Lillith's Egg has already taken in all of the human souls; the only ones left alive at the moment were Yomiko Readman, Drake Anderson, Keitaro Urashima, Naru Narusegawa, and Shinobu Maehara.

(O)

The agents were standing in front of the console, wandering what to do now.

Naru was a bit exhausted after what happened, so she sat on the console to chill out a bit. All of the sudden, the entire room glowed red, accompanied by an alarm sound. Naru quickly stood up, startled. "What the hell!"

Keitaro saw what Naru just sat on and his eyes became white circles. "Oh God, Naru! YOU SAT ON THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON!"

"WH-WH-WHAAAAT!" Naru screamed out.

* * *

Epilogue 

Several hours later, the agents managed to steer the fortress into the middle of the Pacific Ocean, where it exploded in a radiant nuclear fireball.

After reading instruction manuals well into the night, they were ready to launch in outer space to shatter the Lillith's Egg. The shuttle took off with Naru and Keitaro in the Space Shuttle _Columbia_ (this is taking place in 2001), and Yomiko, Drake, and Shinobu at mission control.

As the shuttle reached the black orb in outer space, Naru and Keitaro got out in space suits.

(O)

Kitsune woke up, her eyes slowly opening. She got up and looked around her, and one thing she knew was that she wasn't in Hinata anymore. The entire area around her is in some kind of blue-green tint; she noticed it when she was looking at her hand. She stood up and saw the strange world she found herself in. It seemed she was underwater, or something; it was a sea.

She began to ponder to herself. _So, is this the sea of ambiguity I heard so much about, a world where no one is different, where everyone is everyone else, where you aren't you, but everyone is one in the same... one body? Hey, I can breathe underwater, unless… I'M REALLY DEAD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M REALLY (BLEEP) DEAD! AND WHY AM I NAKED?_ She turned and saw Motoko. "Hey Motoko? Are we really dead?"

"Well I don't know," Motoko replied. "I did see myself leave my own body!" The rest of the Hinata girls also appeared, Su and Sarah were swimming around, chasing one another.

"Where are Naru and Keitaro?" Kitsune asked.

"Last time I checked," Kanako answered. "They went somewhere with Paper Lady."

Haruka was looking around her. "I could get used to this." Just after she said that, she noticed something unusual. "No cigarette… I don't have a cigarette in my mouth… DAMMIT!"

(O)

Naru was holding Keitaro by his ankles, ready to use him like a baseball bat. "I'm ready!" She said over the radio.

"All right!" Yomiko said from mission control. "Let her rip!"

With a mighty swing, Naru whacked the Lillith's Egg, causing it to crack.

(O)

Meanwhile, inside the black sphere, a whirlpool began to form, and Kitsune and the others were trying to escape it.

"Alright, everyone! Swim! Swim! Swim as hard as you can!" Kitsune ordered… then her arms gave way. "Damn! I'm pooped already. I thought I never had to worry about that when I was dead." She was sucked in the whirlpool, and then everyone else eventually got sucked in, too.

(O)

All of the souls escaped from the broken egg and fell back towards Earth.

"We did it!" Naru shouted.

"Great work!" Yomiko responded with excitement. She, Drake, and Shinobu also heard Keitaro shout "OW! THAT HURT, DAMMIT!" They hurried out of the mission control room to see the shuttle return.

When they got outside, they were immediately dazzled by the light show that is more than six billion souls returning to their host bodies.

(O)

As Naru and Keitaro got back in the shuttle, Keitaro looked at the orb breaking apart, and for a moment, he swore that the pieces formed an angelic wing and a demonic wing.

Needless to say, they managed to safely land the shuttle.

... in the water.

(O)

The next day, Yomiko was saying her goodbyes as she and Drake left the Hinata Inn. Keitaro and Naru, now back in their casual wear, went back to the house.

Keitaro shouted with enthusiasm. "Hi everyone, glad to see you're…"

"BEING DEAD FRICKIN' ROCKED!" Kitsune screamed out of the blue. "Sorry, that was a bit too impulsive, even for me."

Naru and Keitaro sweatdropped and then went to the dining room to recuperate.

Keitaro went a bit closer to Naru. "Was it just me, or did Readman-sensei's smile seem a bit forced to you back there?"

Naru put her hand on her chin and pondered. "Actually, come to think of it…"

* * *

Love or Die Hina: The End 

Now review and tell me what you think. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making this. I had my share of frustrations, and I have to admit it's not perfect, but I still feel pretty proud of the fact that I have finished an excellent story that I have worked for many weeks to complete.

And thanks to everyone for the reviews. Because of you guys, this fic has an astonishing two hundred and sixty four hits! (Well, that's astonishing in my own mind, at least.) I would like to thank encyser and NefCanuck for their constant support, and especially Drgnmastr-Alex; he gave me the most support and he was always there to review my works! Thanks, dude! YOU ROCK!

I have a sequel planned that takes place five years after this, one year after the end of the manga, and during the events of ROD TV, called _Love or Dream Hina_. I still haven't come up with an idea as to how to start off the first chapter, though, but I know that it will begin when romance novelist Motoko Aoyama meets critically acclaimed fellow author Nenene Sumiregawa in an author's meet. Also, I have a sister fic to this one already in the works that sort of makes fun of _One Piece_, where Keitaro is the captain of a pirate ship of sorts, affectionately named _Make it in ONE PIECE, Keitaro!_

Well, enough rambling! See you guys next time, and once again, thanks for the reviews, especially Drgnmastr-Alex. If you get the chance, read his fic _Love Hina: New and Old Faces, Same Zaniness_; it's really good. Well then, see you later!

-GYRAX of the Dark Icon Fanfiction Writers


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